Among things that make me happy

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Currently i am in my 4th posting of housemanship. So far, i've completed 1 year of service (read: setahun jagung). And alhamdulillah previous 3 postings had been great and well. I pray for everything to come to be great too. Amiin.

When entring new posting, our previous routines in working life resets to the lowest level again. There are new vocabs to be familiarised, new skills to learn and new environment to adapt with. Which during this entry phase (we call it tagging period), some of us might find themselves at the lowest point in their life. Down to the point they want to quit.

One day when i was in my 1st posting, which was last year, i had this kind of thought of why did i choose this job in the first place... I questioned why dont i choose to work in a less messy environment, well-seated in an air-conditioned office, and there were times that i even start to compare my job with those working at the admission counter 😂 that was because i have to do dressing and insert and off cbd by myself. Pheww.

That was silly.

If u ever did so (of having the thought and start comparing between jobs) , please get rid of those thoughts now.

I was able to accept the reality when i start to love what i do, and do what i love. I use the mindset of: i choose to do this, rather than i have to or was ordered to do this. When dr plan to insert cbd, i seek the reason why: oh, it's to help the patient with bph/for input/output charting etc, and i choose to do it for my patient. U know, when a pakcik with urinary retention who was previously in pain due to his full bladder wanting to explode, the moment u insert cbd then he was relief out of pain... That gives you an avhievement. U just help him 'cure' the pain.

And so does other things/plan. Take blood this patient, measure his bp manually, and all other uncommon order of procedures (or procedures that i think shouldnt be me doing) become easy to carry out day by day. "Ok dr, i will (choose to) do it." With that mindset, 50% of burden unloaded.

When i cant find the reason for the order, i just take it as 'to help my MO'. And of course, to help myself for the future.

So, back to the topic. I am in orthopedic posting. My 3rd day of tagging i dah kena target dengan specialist. Lots of questions asked, but i cant answer. I also unable to familiarised with all the fractures and wounds of my patients. I just dont really know my patients. Consequently, lots of homeworks given. Until my 6th day, the specialist asked me why, who gives u such homeworks that u have to present everyday? And i can only laugh (sopan-ly) saying that it was him all along. Adududu.

And since then, i started to learn thoroughly my patah2 patients. I dont merely do 'counter reviews'. I started to localised where is the wound, where is the fracture, where is the pain etc...

And here comes a patient who i clerked since ED review. He was an elderly in his 80's, came in with femur fracture. Fast forward, he was sheduled for op and everything. However, he comes from an old folks home. So he got no money / close relatives. Only us currently are the nearest to him.

So sometimes i can see my kakak nurse is feeding him. And some other times, the food was left untouched because nobody care to feed him. Up to one point that the pakcik complaint to me of having heartburn. U know, that feeling when u skip meals/not eaten for long time. So sad...

So, they done operation for him. Post op day 2, my sp requested for the patient to ambulate with wheelchair and for ted stockings. Phew.

(Originally written 10/3/2019. Unfinished. I think he did survive, cant barely remember after reading the draft again in 2023. May Allah bless the patient.)