Catatan Ramadan 1441 #1

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Allah izin dipertemukan lagi dengan ramadan, bulan penuh keberkatan. 

Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kebaikan. Ini ramadan ketiga saya di Malaysia sejak pulang dari tanah syams Jordan. Dan ini kali pertama ramadan sebagai momo (lepas habis housemanship).

Alhamdulillah atas doa2 yang Allah makbulkan. 

Alhamdulillah atas segala memori dan kenangan. 

Alhamdulillah atas segalanya. 

Melihat ke depan, diri ini harus ingat utk menghidupkan ramadan mengikut situasi semasa dan status diri. Jika dulu di Jordan, hidupkan ramadan atas status pelajar, penuntut ilmu dan housemate. Pagi pergi kelas, petang masak, malam pergi masjid terawikh. Kali dan utk masa kedepan, kena didik diri sebagai anak, suri (penghuni) rumah, pekerja, dan kawan.

SubhanAllah. Semoga Allah beri kekuatan dan hidayah serta taufiq. Semoga kita semua beroleh ramadan terbaik, sesuai dengan status diri masing2. 

Buat apa yang kita mampu, Allah maha tahu. 

Love yourself for who you were in the past, who you are now, and who you will be in the future.

Dont despair

Never lose hope

P/s today 1st ramadan during MCO. Allah izin kami hidupkan ramadan di rumah. Semoga dipermudahkan dan diberkati segala amalan kebaikan. Semoga Allah limpahkan petunjuk dan rahmat-Nya. Semoga Allah izin berkumpul dengan keluarga di syurga. Amiin. 

of emotion and decision : a story of a composed mother

A mother's face looked very calm when she brought her post fit child to us early this morning, calmly telling what happened previously in details. I asked if it was a recurrent episode of fitting because she was so composed, but no, it was her first time experiencing it. We took the child from her lap, put it on the bed, taking vitals etc. The child had already returned to her own self upon our assessment, but loudly crying out of fear. Suddenly the mother excuse herself and went beside a wall to take a phone call. 

And then we heard her broke into tears with small weeps, without the child seeing nor knowing. She was 180 degree different than who i met few minutes earlier. 

Later, a male relative came and help with the admission process. I wonder if he is the father. But they barely talk. Like, he only stood by the bed, nothing else.

From further history, he was one of the in-laws. And the one who called the mother just now, is the father who was outstation, the one who gave space for her to broke into tears hidely from her child knowing she isnt really strong but have to be one.

That was one beautiful family story, with great help and support from the in laws too. 

At least, it heals me after seeing another family before that, whose father refused admission for his child, with the mother unable to express her own emotion and words out of panic. We dont even see the base of their decision, unless it was out of fear and panic, unable to comprehend what are the consequences of refusing treatment. 

Indeed, life taught us lessons indirectly. Some are written, some are seen, some are told, but it is up to you how to judge them.

#selftalk #flomodays

kemon

- bismillah -

Susah rupanya untuk jatuh cinta. Susah untuk berikan rasa, masa dan fikiran untuk orang lain sebagai komitmen. Mungkin sebab saya sudah lama selesa hidup sendiri?

Ketika sendiri, saya tak perlu jaga2/takut2 online. Nak update status huha huha pun tak ada masalah waktu single. Buka whatsapp pun hati lapang senang, kalo ada mesej pun tak perlu reply la la tu jugak.

Omg i bukan jenis reply on the spot. I bukan jenis yang tunggu mesej masuk. I bukan jenis yg boleh diexpect. I hate expectation. 

Farhana, Allah is testing you. Dont be afraid to say no. Allah takkan marah you kalau you step away, the earlier the better. Fuh fuh. Kemon. 

Teringat pesan kakak jordan dulu, hanya jatuh cinta pada yang kita bersedia untuk berikan ketaatan kepadanya. 

Kalau tak, hanya menambah luka dan dosa. 

Yass! Hidup tak beza pun di sisi Tuhan kalau ikut status single or married, yg Allah nilai adalah taqwa dan amalan.

In pursuit of yang i boleh ikhlas berikan ketaatan. Yg lain2 yg paksa2 yg expect2 tu, sekian... 

stay at home

- bismillah -

Catatan ini ketika seluruh dunia dilanda pandemic covid 19.

Di malaysia dah start kawalan pergerakan. Non essential services tak perlu pergi kerja. 

My sister still have to work but able to do so from home. My brother who works in university was given cuti to stay at home too. Only me in my family who goes to work as usual. 

Well, there are less cars and traffic on the road. I can get a parking easily in front of 7E shop dlm pekan kangar tu. Parking hospital lagi laaaa senang dan banyak. Sebelum covid, mak ayah akan ambik dan hantar ke hospital sbb depa saja nak jalan2 naik keta. Rutin pagi2 ialah pi beli nasik lemak tepi jalan, pun naik kereta ramai2 teman ayah then balik makan nasi bungkus tu dekat rumah. Rutin tgh hari, pi beli lauk bungkus dekat restoran pulak untuk makan lunch + dinner. 

Now with mco, everything changes. I drive to work everyday by myself. No more nasi lemak trip pagi2. Lunch and dinner would be homecooked. He he he. 

After few years we all makan lauk kedai, now we have to cook. Dulu pening kepala nak beli lauk apa dkt kedai, sekarang pening kepala nak masak apa (worse hahaha). 

First few days of mco, my sis in law was the one who did all the cooking and dishes. 

Then she fell sick and admitted for few days to ward. Then eventually every one else in the house takes turn to cook 😂😂😂

Omg. There is always blessing in every situation in shaa Allah. 

May Allah forgive us.