Saturday, April 13, 2019

Strawberriness

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Currently in my 4th posting.

Haha. The weird thing about this posting is that i havent create my own comfort zone yet despite approaching 2nd month here in the department.

Everyday is filled with palpitation.

And adrenaline rush.
Haha. Which makes me feel good.

And adrenaline also making me able to hold my bladder the whole freaking day, and skip every meals for the whole day.

Crazy life.
I pity my kidneys, ureters and bladder. I pity my tummy. But when things just get too busy, my appetite will be gone too.

And i dont even feel hungry.

I am hungrier on less busy days at work. And sleepy. Which is the 180 degree opposite to the super-me during busy days.

Well, speaking of comfort zone, my mos started to break the ice with jokes etc, but i am just scared to laugh hahahahaha.

Singa buat lawak depan kau, mesti la fikir 2 kali nak gelak ke nak lari hahahaha.

Omaigod. What a life nak gelak takut2.

And of course la, buat lawak 1 minit, then bila kita buat salah/ not up to expectation, singa makan orang la balik... Urmmm.

Got one boss yg tak suka orang kerja lambat2, xda arah tuju... Haha. Kalo apa2 masalah, ayat dia mesti, "mcm ni lah pompuan!" (sexist ya amattt)

Awal2 jumpa dia memang terasa la. Makan dalam weh. Bukan sedih tapi bengang rasa nak marah balik hahahaha.

Lps tu Allah bagi satu session clinic dengan beliau. Hahaha ofkos la kena kaw2 marah sebab slow itu ini hahahaha. Tapi tu my 1st patient jer. Next2 patient i dah laju sebab dah tau nak buat apa. Dia pun dah kurang marah hohoho. Tapi the whole session dua2 orang muka ketat. Dia serius, my resting bitch face is wayyyyy more serious hahahahaah.

Padahal session clinic lain dengan mo lain boleh ja gelak2 depa buat lawak and korek2 rahsia tanya pasal family. Urmmm.

Semalam pulak oncall dengan beliau. 1st referal my friends tak respond pun nak pi tengok. Shait. Aku la nih kena pi. Dah siap clerk case, sambil tunggu dr mai sambil palpitation. Hahaha. Takut weh kena pancung.

Urm anyway, as expected, memang dia buat kerja supersonic. And alhamdulillah boleh kejar. Siap sekali tengok 2 patients time tu. Otak belah dua. My friends tak turun2 nak tgk new referal. And dr was very kindddd sbb satu case lagi dia kata tayah present. And amaiiiizingly dia tolong ejakan nama xray view yg pelik2 tu hahahahaahah. I was likeeeee.... Ok, dia tak marah plak aku slow..? Padahal tak tlg eja pun xpe dr, saya okayyy.

And the next few referals pun aku jugak yg turun. Ape cer orang lain tamau turun. Shait. Haha tp ok ja la. Bearable. Dah hilang palpitation bagai2.

Then ada patient tiba2 nak aor. Tambah kerja. Urm tadi tamau masuk wad tak habaq awal2, pi setuju buat apa. Bila my friend counsel balik, eh, mak cik ni undecided pulakkk. Dr mai nak sign aor form, tapi sbb patient berbelah bagi pulak nak aor ke tak jadi aor, hahahahaa apa lagi meletup la dia. "macam ni la pompuan!" then dia blah.

Phew. I looked at my friends, oh no he just started to piss off. Which is not good sebab we need to survive the day with his mood being okay.

I picked up the aor form, and went to the makcik.

"dah ada keputusan ke?"
Tu je ayat. Lebih2 tamau cakap apa dah. I need result. *venusian mood off. mood martian activated* haha

Then senang. Mak cik nak admit.

'dr, pt td dah settle. Dia admit.'

Tu je ayat whatsapp. Men like result and simple wordings.

Then the whole day he was in goooood mood. Phew.

So, that's how my palpitation never cease in this department. We all tried our best not to irritate our boss, so that we can work happily weeeee.

U dont care, i dont care punya prinsip of interaction. Buat kerja je. Yg penting kerja smooth mood semua orang okay. So sebab tu bila buat lawak i tak reti nak gelak hahaha.

Dont buat lawak depan saya dr. Dont even smile. Sbb my i dont care is solidated with ur ego in the 1st place.

And lastly before balik, dr suh trace satu xray. I was doing my passover in the phone, tengah copy paste whatsapp message, and i dont like people bother me when i'm doing my job. Lastly dia bangun trace sendiri marah2. Hahahaha. I just dont care. Penat lah.

Malas fikir panjang, so my brain: okay dia tak marah tapi dia tolong buat kerja sendiri sebab i pun tengah busy.

Sekian, my happy strawberry oncall. 🍓😂

Ps. I told my friends that we will change the group icon to chilli (replacing strawberry) if his mood irritated. Hahahaha. Luckily till end of shift the strawberriness maintained. Alhamdulillah.

Thursday, April 11, 2019

Spo2 40

- bismillah -

This evening, i was walking back to ward from clinic when upon entering the ward, i saw my staffnurses were busy running around here and there fetching things. They saw me and quickly informed: dr, spo2 40%!

Hah? I rushed to the patient. What could possibly happened???

I attended the patient, he was a young boy with humerus fracture, day 1 post humeral plating. He was tachypneic, and i think he looked like he's gonna collapse at any time. But when i asked him questions, he spoke in full sentences.

The vitals were bad, spo2 was really 40%.

His lungs got unequal air entry. With pleuritic chest pain.

Shit.

Luckily no calfs tenderness. And he is young. That is the most important factor.

I saw that blood transfusion going on, but has already been stopped by my staffnurses.

Phew.

His spo2 picked up after i put him on hfo2 15L/min. Hahaha. Initially i put him on fmo2 but the spo2 only 82%.

When he regained 100% spo2, i called to inform my mo.

His question was only this:
What has been done?

Bla bla bla

And alhamdulillah, the patient became stable after that. His ecg was normal, blood normal, portable cxray also normal.

We suspected that he may got transfusion reaction just now.

Phew.

To think again, i always had cases of transfusion reaction (jonahness), but this one is my 1st encounter with "spo2 40" complain. Sampaikan sekarang blood bank dah tak bagi transfuse malam2 sbb pt i selalu jadi reaction malam2 😂.

Anyway,
Alhamdulillah.

The patient survived. The mother thanked me. I dont know what will happen to him if he was left unattended with that spo2 level.

It was not because of me, but the patient's rezeki to stay alive...

To think how Allah made me walk fast from the clinic to ward while other friends were still in clinic... Rupanya Allah aturkan utk attend the patient...

Alhamdulillah... Segala puji hanya bagi Allah

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Pak cik beli ayam

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Currently, i am in my 4th posting, which is a department related to traumatology. Eh.

Well, i have patient today in ward, he sustained distal radius frature and tibia plus lateral malleolus fracture post MVA. Wound debridement was done on the same day, and he was put on ext fixation and k wire on his fracture sites.

Today, when one of my colleagues approaches him to take his blood, my friend notices that the patient is disoriented. GCS drop! OMG.

Me and my other friends immediately rush to his bed. Upon attended, we noticed that the patient had his eyes closed. He didnt respond to our call, but was talking confusing words that i can barely understand. He looked in distress, trying to get down of the bed and removing spo2 device and even the oxygen mask.

"pak cik, nama apa?"
He opened his eyes and told his name.
Ok correct,
"pak cik, pak cik kat mana la ni?
He replied immediately, saying he is in pasaraya, beli ayam.

Omaigod. All of us, me, my colleagues and staff nurses were stunned by his answer. What had possibly happen that he become disoriented like this?

I continued with the next question.
"pak cik, kami semua ramai2 baju putih ni sapa?"
"penguatkuasa kesihatan"

Phew.

His bp was dropping low, we resuscitated him with the fluids until we have to start the norad infusion.

When my mo comes, patient already comfortable, under oxygen and hemodynamic support with blood taken. My mo was fast to notice that patient is indeed pallor, and after knowing the history that patient had just finished op, my mo immediately ordered to transfuse 1 pint saline phase while waiting for the current Hb status result.

The Hb turned out to be half than the pre - op reading. The patient was in acute compensated shock.

We continued resus him and he received a total of 4 pints of blood.

Ct brain was done urgent, no evidence of icb / ischemic stroke. Alhamdulillah.

When we reassess him again after awhile, he was amazingly oriented to place, time and person.

"pak cik ada di mana sekarang?"
"hospital..."

Alhamdulillah.

I smiled to his family members in relief.

SubhanAllah yang menghantar dr Mo mai tengok dan cepat boleh tangkap punca2 tanpa tunggu official result.

And i balik dengan hati yang lega...

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Oh kasut

- bismillah -

Before i started working last year, i went to GPO and managed to buy 2 skechers at a price of 1, or less than 1. I wore them alternately days and nights for one year. No issues. The designs are formal, not too sporty, and of black and navy blue in color.

Until i masuk my 4th posting, the specialist told my chief that he noticed houseman wearing blue shoes that he isn't happy with it.

I feel terrible, as if i was the one wearing pink / flourescent colour shoes with funky design!

I dont know. I hope i can keep positive thought on him.
He just came back from a long holiday.
But some things just dont really change.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Do more, push harder

- bismillah -

I think i have give more. But no, it was not enough.

I have to fight the fear of doing wrong,
I have to push myself to conquer the  imperfection.

People commenting me physically, without knowing i have never have issues with my physical built, until they mention it.

I missed my own self, who is carefree and careful, happy and cheerful, like i was in the previous posting.

Ortho should be good. I should allow my self to like it. I should open the door for every chance and potential.

Push yourself harder. Do more.

Sleeping at 2am, is just not enough.

Do more, for the sake of yourself. Not to be recognised, not to be known.

Do more. Pls, do more.

Ps. Damn, this is a feeling that you  are just not good enough.

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Ibu ayah yg bersengkang mata

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Terima kasih mak ayah. Terima kasih atas segalanya. Terima kasih.

T_T

Semoga Allah mengganjari ibu ayah, aku dan keluargaku dengan syurga.

Hari ni first on call ortho, hujan, mak ayah hantar senja2. Semoga sentiasa dlm jagaan Allah.

Saturday, February 23, 2019

My 26th birthday

Bismillah.

Alhamdulillah. It's been almost a week since my 26th birthday.

I'm glad that this year, marked my 1 year of working in this road-not-taken field of housemanship. Alhamdulillah for everything.

And today, i manage to bring my parents for a short holiday by the beach. It feels different. Suddenly i feel i am that one capable woman. Hahahaha
(altho most of the time i always feel like i have never contribute enough for people around me, most of the time i am the one spoilt child who doesnt want to help around the house.) hurm.

Anyway, may Allah ease every good thing. One year older means one year closer to the day i will return to Him; my death.

May Allah forgive me, and may Allah grant me the success and happiness of both the world and hereafter.

Amiin.

Strawberriness

- bismillah - Alhamdulillah. Currently in my 4th posting. Haha. The weird thing about this posting is that i havent create my own comfort ...