know something?

there is/are people with good lucky day^^ here now

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

buah tin

- bismillah -

Hari ni, di wad kanak2 di sebuah hospital di luar bandar. hospital khas kanak2.

Situasi biasa, pagi2, nurse akan ketuk2 pintu bilik wad, jerit suruh semua mak2 get ready sebab doktor nak masuk. yg tidur pun zupp bangun, yang tak pakai tudung terus zupppp siap bertelekung. haha. shawl pun belit in 3 seconds. arab-style. haha.

waktu ward round dengan doktor in my group pun, doktor akan suruh pelajar perempuan pergi cek tengok makcik2 tu ready ke tak ready utk doktor dan student laki masuk. kadang, riuh juga mereka makcik2 jerit, doktor senyum je gelak2. mak cik...mak cik...hehe

hari ni, ada sorang mak cik, masuk je dalam bilik tu nampak muka dia awal2. senyum. very radiant. bukan muka ja tapi macam satu jasad mak cik tu bercahaya. huhu. dia senyum pada semua orang. nak ambil history dari dia, tapi dah ada sorang student/post graduate yang tengah interview. tak pa lah, saya ambik patient katil sebelah.

habis student postgrad tu, datang kawan saya ambik history dengan mak cik tu. boleh dengar, mak cik respon sangat lembut, welcoming, siap doa2 lagi bila kawan saya dah nak habis. lepas tu datang pula group lain 2-3 orang, still mak cik tu layannnn orang interview dia. padahal sepuluh kali kot jawab soalan sama. kali ni siap si ayah budak tu datang dan jawab2 soalan students lelaki tu.

ikutkan situasi yg saya pernah jumpa, boleh je mereka nak menolak. tak larat kot jawab soalan sama 2-3 kali.

but they, remain welcoming and supportive as ever...

sesi petang, after habis ward round, saya masuk lagi ke bilik tu untuk buat physical exam pada anak2 bertuah haha. jadi mangsa la jugak. then, something MAGIC happened.....

anak mak cik tadi (patient la), datang from bed to bed bawa sebekas buah tin yang bersinar2 (baca:sudah dibasuh).
- mendoakan semoga Allah sembuhkan penyakitnya (pancytopenia for investigation) dan diberi kebahagiaan dalam keluarga mereka amiin -

he offered me buah tin! of which saya tak pernah makan sebab takut tak sedap kalau beli. tengok je. tunggu orang belikan. haha.

ambik la sebijik. makan dalam bas on the way balik.

SEDAP. i never know fresh figs are delicious! lemak, manis. macam kumboi nyok! hikhik

sambil dalam bas, senyum2 sorang2....
dah tahun akhir, baru merasa...
dah 'rugi' 5 musim buah tin pada 5 tahun lepas hehe

dan, saya mengaku,
buah tin ni, special..
sebab tu ada tempat dalam quran
ada la signifikannya
Allah yang tahu
buat i must admit, saya akui, buah ini ISTIMEWA

bye for now. doakan saya dah nak exam. minggu ni minggu terakhir di wad kanak2 in shaa Allah.
semoga kita semua berolah pengakhiran yang baik dalam urusan hidup dan mati.
amiin.

- miss jakun, 6th year medicine student, irbid :D

Friday, August 19, 2016

Alam realiti

- bismillah -

Appreciate nilai iman yang ada.
Rasa tak senang duduk apabila melihat kehidupan gemerlap di bawah neon,
Celebrations dan events yang kau takut andai akhir nyawa adalah di situ,
Pakaian yang kau tahu kau takkan pernah pakai andai kau hidup di mata rakyat afrika, syria, myanmar,

Minta lindung daripada diuji seperti mereka.
Yg memperlihatkan, yang melihat.
Yang terlalu mewah dan yang terlalu fakir.

Kita hanya manusia yg diasuh melalui ujian.
Bukanlah yg terbaik itu yg ujub bangga melepasi ujian,
Tapi Allah mencari jiwa hamba yang bersyukur diberi petunjuk berdepan ujian,
Dan yang berusaha menunjuk jalan kepada yang lain pula selepasnya berjayanya dia melepasi ujian.

Bukan yang mengaku aku adalah lebih baik daripada mereka,
Kerana itu terang-terangan sifat syaitan yang sesat dan menyesatkan.

Semoga, tidak diuji dengan dunia gemerlapan yang tak ke mana pun, dan semoga hati ini terus menerus melihat segala make up, pakaian, gaya hidup itu adalah kepalsuan sebuah kisah dunia.

Semoga, sensitiviti ini tidak hilang.

/Been to airport dubai, i feel suffocated.
/Scroll ig tgk gaya hidup orang yg popular, i never wish to be in their place!
/Takdak gaya hidup org soleh solehah nak diintai di dlm alam maya haha. Kena cari di alam realiti. Luls.
/Social media, akan menimbulkan rasa kosong dan tak perlukannya, bila iman sedang memuncak. Aduh.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

unexpected things

- bismillah -

(facebook)
In this journey of life, we will be going through a lot of circumstances. Some events are planned, while some are unexpected. But above all, they are tailored and chartered for those going through them, at the best time, in the best condition. To be hurt emotionally, or physically, when we are in our best shape is better than to be in double pain. To still be able to breath manually is better than to be in vegetative state. In every hardness, there are rewards that awaited us in akhirat. It just a matter of time. Nobody lives up to thousand years (ummat muhammad), it is worths to remain positive with preseverence for a couple of years for all those gloomy days to pass.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Paediatrics: emosi dan tugas rasmi

- bismillah -

Hari ini, pagi pergi masuk wad kanak2 di hospital princess rahmah, masuk satu2 bilik. Sebelum ini, suka hati saya ja nak masuk mana.

Masuk bilik satu, katil satu. Tanya mak dia, boleh ke nak ambik history? Tanya anak sakit apa, bila masuk... rupa2nya dah lama masuk, ok takpa, cari patient lain. Tapi, sebelum berpisah, kenalah cakap selamat tinggal pada mak tu dulu, ucap get well soon pada adik tu.

Pergi ke next room, cari patient yang besar sikit. Tapi nampak seorang ibu ni senyum, anak dia baby. Mak cik ni nampak baik, welcoming, nak pergi tegurlah! Hehe.

So tanya2, anak dia pun dah lama masuk. Alaa, baru mula cakap, takkan dah nak blah. So tanya macam ambik history, tapi tak tulis. Rasa lebih manusia. Dapat rasa dan tengok ekspresi muka ibunya bila cakap chief complaint, cerita apa jadi pada anaknya, semua itu lebih real. Sebab, sebelum ni, fokus ialah pada isi2 cerita ibu untuk ditulis dan di analisis, tak pernah menilai dari sudut emosi. Sebelum ini tanya apa test dan procedure yang doktor dah buat pada anaknya utk tulis dlm plan, kali ni tanya sebab nak tahu, apa keputusan test2 tu, nak tahu so anak dia ni sakit apa?

Samalah, bila follow up, assess pasal makanan, aktiviti, tidur, mood...bukan sekadar nak penuhkan requirement utk history, tapi betul2 nak tahu anak dia ada improvement tak? I was there, more to pay a visit, rather than for the sake of history.

Lepas tu, ucap selamat tinggal pada ibu itu dan doakan kesihatan anaknya. (Budaya arab. Melayu? Selamat sihat...huhu awkward)

To my own surprised, mak dia cakap terima kasih, which i interpret as terima kasih dtg ambik berat pada anak dia, sebab sebenarnya saya tak buat apa2 utk dia perlu berterima kasih. Dia juga doakan semoga berjaya. Tak semua makcik doakan begini, selalunya makcik2 yg sangat terharu ja/ or jika saya buat something yg besar like buat physical exam satu badan.

Nikmat yang Allah izin hari ini. Alhamdulillah.
Dengan asbab pergi melihat baby itu walaupun taknak ambik history, Allah izin dpt lantunan doa dari mulut ibu itu.

Semoga saya makin akrab dengan Allah.
Lebih dekat seiring dengan mendekatnya detik perpisahan dari alam sementara ini.

Friday, August 12, 2016

Heal the heart: the cures to worldly needs

- bismillah -

Life is aprroaching early adulthood.
And our mindset and thinking are changing too.

To be immersed in nikmat in childhood, to always get what i wanted,
Or to be satisfied with the replace,
And to be strong headed to achieve what i dreamt for.

As for now, sometimes i lost the strong willpower.
I got lost when i'm in pain physically, emotionally.
I surrendered early before reaching the final point.
I put negative thoughts ahead of positive doa.
Sometimes.

When we started this journey on the same point on the road,
Now upon reaching the end, we have been on different paths.
Some get married, some are making income, some are actively making dakwah.
They are progressing with their life.
They, are advancing.

I have a friend,
That i looked high on her but she puts me on higher state in her thought.
It's not that she always has what i have been wanted,
But i have always want what she has had.
That is what i realised today.

It is not that she has what i thought is my dream,
But i dream of her life.
All this while.

And this is totally wrong.

I know, to be eager to have other's life,
Is the worst thirst in this world.
Luckily i come to realise it before i reach my end point, which is death.
I should focus more in my life.

To pray for other people, to pray for kindness and blessing from Allah to them,
Is to set my life free,
To be liberated from this chain,
To be cured from this illness.
To pray for others is to clean my heart.

رَبَّنَا اغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلِإِخْوَانِنَا الَّذِينَ سَبَقُونَا بِالْإِيمَانِ وَلَا تَجْعَلْ فِي قُلُوبِنَا غِلًّا لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَّحِيمٌ (10)

Such a beautiful doa from the quran.
Which read as to mean,

"O our Lord! Forgive us and our brothers (and sisters) in Religion who have preceded us in faith, and let not our hearts entertain any ill-feeling against any of the believers. O our Lord! You are All-Forgiving, All-Compassionate (especially toward Your believing servants)."

I was walking behind a happy couple one day,
That i decided to smile secretly and uttered the words of doa, barakallah lakuma, wa baraka alaikuma.
May Allah bless both of you, in every up and down.

And that day i realised, the doa is for me, too.
To set me free from envy nor losing hope.
My portion of rezeki is always there too.

On another day, i was inside the bus the university,
When i was worried all along the way thay i might be late.
Worrying what case would i get that day,
Who is going to be my patient...
Until i heard from the radio,
A beautiful hadith from our beloved prophet Muhammad.
A hadith that again set me free from the chain of worldly needs.

Be mindful of God, and He will take care of you.
Be mindful of Him, and you shall find Him at your side.
If you ask, ask of God.
If you need help, seek it from God.
Know that if the whole world were to gather together in order to help you, they would not be able to help you except if God had written so.
And if the whole world were to gather together in order to harm you, they would not harm you except if God had written so.
The pens have been lifted, and the pages are dry.’ ”

And suddenly all my worries fade.

What ever comes in front of me to do any harm on me, wont be able to do so when Allah is there to protect me from harm. and what ever good things that even if people gathered to give me, wont reach me when Allah says they are not for me.

Whether i was late or what so ever troubles i will be facing, it wont do md any harm. When i seek protection from Allah.

Alhamdulillah.

When life has pushed you to the lowest point,
Never hesitate to admit,
And you should have always realised that before,
That you have nothing in this world.
We are all faqir.
When we know we have nothing, why would we be sad when we cant get all thing we wanted?

We have
None but only His mercy.
That you breath, that you smile,
That you live, that you sleep.

I read about hemolytic anemia,
To even have enough counts of G6PD enzymes is even a huge mercy that you can never exchange with the universe.

Smile
And learn.

May learning medicine attached me to Allah more.
Despite in my up and down of parallel life achievement.

Alhamdulillah, for everything He gave me and for everything He takes from me, they are all belong to Allah, me too, belongs to Him.

:)

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