Thursday, January 17, 2019


- bismillah -

I will always be tested.

Above everything, i am glad we are friends. Thank you f.


Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Of faith and hope

- bismillah -

Just a simple note from i encountered at the clinic yesterday...

Upon seeing a very bright smile on her face at the clinic yesterday, i didnt even know that she was once had 1 episode of "unexplained abruptio placenta" at 39 weeks on previous pregnancy, resulting in intrauterine fetal death.

A strong abdominal pain was mistaken as contraction pain. Little did everyone knows, the ctg finally flatten.

I believe her strength i see now comes from a very supportive environment, a deep-seated faith, and a loving family.

May Allah take good care of her on her current pregnancy. 🌹

Teringat cerita addin dan benz.. Hewhew... Mcm mana benz pujuk addin bila dia keguguran, kembali kepada tadabbur surah kahfi.

And kemarin, kakak nurse klinik tu pujuk patient, "in shaa Allah anak tu jadi anak syurga, sedang menunggu di sana."

Indeed, the couple lose nothing. Allah. The beauty of faith, taqwa, doa and iman.

Wednesday, December 26, 2018

2018 II


First draft for 2019's goals:

- towards better health and lifestyle
- established morning routine
- less online/virtual shopping, more real physical shopping 😂
- more and more giving/charity
- near and nearer to death so dont forget to prepare
- i plan to get married after 26 (at least 1 year of working) ! 😊
- consistent saving for hajj trip with mak and ayah
- i want to travel solo/on mission somewhere before jadi mo (inspired by Dr Farnaz, my aussie lecturer who works globally from primary centre), so possibly this will be achieved at 2020 😂😂

In shaa Allah

Now that i have 2019 draft, let's step into the new year with doa and tawakkal with my plans.

Allah knows best!

Monday, December 24, 2018


- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. 2018 has been another wonderful year. Alhamdulillah...

January, i went to kl for 2 weeks to take care of my niece who got chicken pox. Went to GPO to buy shoes for my working days (later). Got to register for e-Ho (placement for housemanship) easily at home with no internet interuption etc alhamdulillah.

Settled all the official paperworks upon start working. Been to mahkamah to angkat sumpah and pejabat hasil for mati setem for the first time.

February, i got my first job. One of (the many) dream jobs i had since little hehe. Bought my first car with the offer letter and received it at 8th day of working. Phew. Alhamdulillah.

And i remembered that ayah brought me to the post office to renew my driving licence for another 2 years.
A memory i treasured.

March until June passed with me experiencing "all the first times memories" in my career in surgical department, of first time been in ot, first oncall, first ward round, first scrub, first time stepping into icu... Etc etc hahaha. Oh yeah, never take cuti rehat.

June, started 2nd posting. First time suturing (after start working) 😂😂😂 sutured my patients catheters on my own. Medical department was the busiest of all. Survived eventful on calls. Only took 1 mc during the whole 4 months because of dehydration post vomiting episodes during on call night that i was so weak the next day i barely survived it.

Good thing about medical department is, the members and environment are warm and understanding. They just dont do idiot things like pressuring/threatening us about our superiors. Not like in current posting tho.

October, my first train trip (ETS) with both parents. All this while i've been traveling alone. And all this while, it was them who took care of me during travel. Meals. Toilet. Prayers. Then that time, it reversed. I am glad i got to treat them ayam penyet at kls station upon arrival before we proceed to our destination. Travelling with parents is indeed a blessed journey in and out.

October also was the month we welcomed a new family member (the reason my parents trip to kl with ETS). Later another member comes after 11 days apart.

November went well with my mom, sister and sister in law were in our house for confinement. My mom did her 2nd THR operation, of which again, ayah is the one who been with her most of the time. I was busy working in my 3rd department, kakak in confinement, abang working too, so only ayah was by her side alll the time. Alhamdulillah the operation went smoothly.

Mother had both her femoral head buried in the ground by ayah with kakak and I to accompany him on both separate occasions.

December, we had a blast of event for kenduri akikah for both babies and kenduri kesyukuran at our house. Some people mistaken the kenduri for a wedding. Haha who else isn't married in the house... So, does it mean wedding should be bigger later? Haha.

Anyway, 2018 was a blessed year for me alhamdulillah. May 2019 will be filled with full of blessing, mercy and guidance. May Allah love me and my family. Amiin.

Monday, December 17, 2018

Hard days shall pass

- bismillah -

Whenever i think i get mistreated, i feel sad.
But i tell myself, this is temporary.
Those who are rude to me, or look down on me, will meet Allah too.
And in the hereafter, i wouldnt want to be bothered by them. Let them ask for forgiveness only from Allah. Dont come and disturb me in the akhirat.

I have only Allah.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Thursday, November 22, 2018

My first ELOT

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Currently i am in my 3rd posting, O&G...

Today (22/11/18) is my first turn for Elective Operations. I got 2 cases of removing uterus. Buang rahim...

A day before, which was yesterday, i was very nervous. At about 1 hour before my shift ended, i went upstairs to the respective ward to check on those ELOT patients.

Surprisingly, i saw the surgeons already made entries and reviewed the patients pre op. I cant imagine if i dont 😂

Upon reviewing their files, i flipped through old operative notes of another patient. I copied the procedures and plan because i just dont know what to do on my 1st day of elot coming morning. So i prepared every forms i can 1 day before elot.

Turned out that my MO made another forms all by herself today 😂😅 i left speechless.. Anyway she praised my effort, it's just that my forms need lots of alterations so she just make new ones.

Well, the whole universe know about 'rumours' about this department, in any hospital. They said this is the scariest, most horror posting etc etc.

I entered this posting with all those bad rumours in my head. Everyday was faced with palpitation and anxiety.

'i heard they throw away files/tickets on the floor'
'they always shout'
'it' s all housemen faults! '
And so on...

Well, on my first day, i was surprised to know that there is bacaan yasin every friday. Whatttt. Last time i know about this routine was during my high school. Okay, i was surprised about it on my firsy day...

Surprise no 2, there are foods/ceremony/gatherings almost every week! Ada ja orang buat kenduri... And everyone's invited!

Surprise no 3, one of my specialists check on me whether i ate or not before proceeding for second ot. I wassssss amazed, shocked, speechless...

Why i heard all bad rumours about them all in this department before 😭 when indeed they are so kind, especially when talking to patients...

Well, i pray may Allah bless all good souls.

Ps. Yg garang2 marah2 tu ada, and it is parallel with the rumours 😂

Ps 2. "awak dah 5th poster eh?" kembang dua minit, lps tu duk konfius posting ke berapa dah ni haha

Ps 3. Kalo dah pi medan perang, jangan patah balik. Dosa.Despite rasa susah dan payah, hadirkan diri jugak lah. In my case, i aim utk fill in log book as the reward utk segala 'kesusahan' berjuang jadi elot. Hehehehe.


- bismillah - I will always be tested. Above everything, i am glad we are friends. Thank you f. :)