Sunday, November 11, 2018

Fate

I must trust Allah for everything. Surely, His promises are all true.

🌹

Saturday, October 13, 2018

30 minutes before going home

- bismillah -

It was a saturday working day. So basically we get the busiest in the morning but more relax in the evening. I worked with team of 4 for a ward, so it was very managable alhamdulillah. Tracing finished as early as before 12, so did blood cm forms which settled before 3 i guess. There was 1 aor discharge, 2 new admissions and transfer in, and every other thing was just in place. We were able to eat a good proper lunch (at 5pm plus).

Until at 630pm, 30 mins before punch out... A patient became unstable.

Cpr with crash intubation until 40 mins, but the patient didnt survive. After settling all the death documentations, we went home at 830pm, sweating, tired, sleepy, and hungry (again)...

So that's basically my life. I think i can go at 7pm sharp, but my patient is my priority.

Anyway alhamdulillah all works settled before that event. Otherwise, would have to settle all ward works before going home.

❤️

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

8th month of housemanship

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Less than 15 days left for me in medical department. Things are never can be expected, some days are hectic that i went home at midnight, while some other days i can even sleep while awaiting the time to punch out 😆😆😆

So i just choose to be grateful. I am grateful for my busy days and even more grateful that i know Allah is with me helping me to settle the works... Especially when managing a whole ward alone. Pheww. La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. I truly incapable except with the help of Him.

And ironically, on a calm day, i easily feel sleepy. Everything runs slowly. Haha.

Anyway, i am grateful for both my busy and calm days.

My most hectic oncall was one with few new admissions, new peri referal, unstable patients in main ward, scheduled blood taking of dengue patients, etc.

Last time was my second most hectic oncall. 10 (TEN) new admissions in two wards. Basically have to run here and there in between admissions and rounds. There's one asystole patient in peri ward, so went there for cpr and eventually LO (death) documentation. I eventually managed to take blood for morning orders at 8am onwards. Omg. Able to take fasting bloods at 7am but then the oncall mo still wanted to do round 😂😂😂 i cursed the ticking clock in my heart.. Not the mo hahahaha (he was just doing his job riteee)

And above all, i am grateful that Allah make me able to pray... That is the biggest blessing in any day whether hectic or calm one.... Alhamdulillah

I started to be grateful of time

Thank you Allah for my life and career you choose for me.

May my life ends well in His blessing.
Amiin.

❤️

Sunday, September 30, 2018

I'm done

I just dont want to get married yet.
I havent met one who i think i can devote myself to, respect, care and love.

And i just realised, Allah can give me one with all the characters/dream i want, but we just didnt click.

And i come to realise, His choice is always above my choice. He knows better who is the one for me.

As for now, i want to regain back my focus of-why-suddenly-changed-from-hospitalbased-to-kkbased

Farhana, strive for excellence! Dont let sands and grains bugging u when you are handling golfballs!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

May Allah bless me, my parents and family

Bismillah

Alhamdulillah.

Hari ni cuti. Ayah pulak sakit pinggang. So dari pagi ayah mintak adik turun beli nasik lemak. Selalunya ayah buat semua benda, dari beli makan pagi sampai makan malam. Sedih pun ada, gementar pun ada. Haha.

Sis neves sebenarnya nak pi beli di kedai yg rebut2/kena order cakap kuat2. Haha.

Lps tu keluar dgn mak pergi beli makan tgh hari pulak. Mak ajak singgah kedai anakku utk beli barang baby utk my bakal anak2 buah. Hurm. First time la jugak sebenarnya keluar berdua dgn mak dan drive plus parking hahaha. Sblum ni tau tekan minyak, jalan dan berenti ja. Mak ayah yg turun naik keta. Ayah yg parking/drop kalau aku sendiri nak turun pi mana2. Anak bertuah ni pemalas nk turun / drive / fikir nk cari parking.

Alhamdulillah, berkat bawa mak di sebelah, parking sangatlah senang dapat. SubhanAllah betapa Allah angkat doa ibu.

Boleh bawa mak beli kasut baru jugak. Kesian mak sakit kaki. Tapi dia still kuat semangat nak pi beli baju cucu2 dia. Ikutkan maksu ni, nak beli online jaaaa semua benda kalo boleh.

Sebenarnya tadi 50-50 paksa rela gak nak drive keluar pekan tu. Niat nak pi beli makan tgh hari saja. Tapi bila tgk mak bersungguh nak ajak keluar dan singgah kedai, maka ku lawan jugak perasaan neves dan malas tu. Biasalah, nak keluar dari comfort zone mmg la susah. (kalo ikutkan perut sendiri, malas keluar beli makan maka pasti akan skip ja makan tgh hari tu hahahaha... Tp fikir perut mak ayah, kena lah jugak pi cari makanan)

Malam pulak, sama la takdak makanan. Tp mak ayah dah tak larat nak keluar beli dah. Jadi, buat pertama kali dalam masa 6 bulan bekerja, i cooked. Ye saya masak. Fes time sebagai doktor hahahaah. Nampak dak aktiviti hidup ku byk 'terjejas/terbantut' lps kerja.. Hehe

Sambil masak malam tu, mak nasihat2 la pasal nak kahwin ni...

Urm

Fikir2 balik, i kinda tak nak kawen dlm masa terdekat sbb tak nak keluar dari comfort zone sebenarnya. Mcm pagi tadi, berat nyaa lahai nak bawa diri pi beli nasik huhuhu sampai sanggup terfikir nak skip makan ja hahahah

Apadaaa farhanaaa...

Urm

Doa.

Ayat mak kata malam ni, "mak duk doa anak2 mak jadi ustaz/ah, tapi tak dak anak2 jadi ustaz/ah, tgk2 Allah nak bagi menantu ustaz/ah dlm keluarga kita (in shaa Allah)"

Tiba2 teringat salam2 perkenalan dari kalangan ustaz2 😂 omg aku tak leh lari dari doa mak

Ok sekian.

Doakan perjodohan dan perkahwinan saya diberkati dan dalam petunjuk serta dirahmati Allah.

Amiin.

Friday, August 17, 2018

Alhamdulillah

18/8/18
Cantik tarikh nih hehe

Alhamdulillah, dah hampir 6 bulan aka setengah tahun dalam housemanship. :) sekarang dlm posting ke-2.

Posting pertama, surgical, berakhir dengan alhamdulillah baik2 saja. Drama2 tak cukup cme, logbook dan assessment di akhir posting. Hewhew.

I enjoyed surgical posting very much. The symptoms and causes are pretty much straight forward. And i think i exaggerate my ocd-ness bila masuk OT time hand washing, scrubbing and gowning😂. And best masuk ot, can touch here and there while assisting... Tak macam zaman belajar dulu, intai dari jauhhhh jer hehe.

Now, in 2nd posting, medical. Still adapting, but i think after 1 month baru boleh terima kenyataan medical ni ok jer. 1st week, rasa sgt burden dgn workloads, 1st month burden dgn oncall EOD sbb tak cukup ho... Now ok dah, on call seminggu sekali saja sbb dah ramai ho... And some mo's pun dah kenal, so hopefully boleh okay sampai ke akhirnya.

Benda best ialah bila dr tahu i dah surgical, so dia biar i jahit suture utk secure fem cath sorang2. Hehe. Dekat surgical tak pernah pegang suture pun 😂 mf pernah offer suruh jahit tapi tak berani nanti rosak tissue orang hahahaha

And today, alhamdulillah, round pagi di hdw, dr c luangkan masa ajar cara baca chart hdw. SubhanAllah tak pernah ada orang ajar sedetailed yg dia ajar. And dia tanya, nak hospital ke nak kk -based bila jadi MO nanti?
Surgical based or medical based?

Nampaknya, i need to make decision from now... Who i picture myself in the future.

Learn, practice and kumpul experience banyak2 masa ho ni. Ingat, nanti nak jadi mo/sp... Bukan selamanya ho...

In shaa Allah. Semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusan kebaikan. Semoga Allah berkati dan izinkan penutup yang terbaik utk setiap perbuatan, kerja dan amal.

Salam zulhijjah.
Semoga Allah izinkan haji dan umrah pada masa yang terbaik❤️

Friday, July 20, 2018

Mengadap boss

Hari ni kena hantar surat.

A review,
B tulis round s/b,
C amik darah.

A punya pasal, B dengan C kena. Lps tu A suruh B mengaku salah. A memang senior yang teruk. Luckily dia dah nak keluar department. Semoga dia kena benam banyak2 dalam posting depan. Urmmmm.

Fate

I must trust Allah for everything. Surely, His promises are all true. 🌹