Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Ortho moments

- bismillah -

Yesterday was one longed awaited day, an elective ot day. I barely had chance for elot. Even there was once given previously but suddenly my friend just seized the chance. Well, kinda disappointed but i believe in Allah's plan.

And yesterday i was given paeds elective ot. With mo and specialist who i am comfortable with. All three of us are females ♥️

What i respect my surgeon is she always say bismillah, loudly, for everything she did. Even scrubbing. Did u ever said bismillah when scrubbing? 😥

And the fact that this might be my last chance in OT, so i enjoyed every moment very much. I found that it was more relaxing than before.

As for today, might be my last day in ortho clinic. Staff nurses are amazingly friendly today, even though we had most of patients today since the last week patients are forwarded to today after few days of raya break. My kind mo (khsk) sat in front of me, helping me with discussion of cases that i saw in clinic. And all my patients are wonderful. Some even wished me selamat hari raya. May Allah bless them all with good health.

Above all, i thank Allah for everything. May i would be able to finish everything in its best. Because the end is the ultimate value of everything.

May Allah bless me, always. Amiin.

Monday, June 3, 2019

Ramadan 30

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Allah izin mengecapi ramadan hingga hari ini.

Sesungguhnya, apabila kita meminta yg terbaik, maka apa yang Allah beri itulah yang terbaik untuk kita. Malah, Allah sentiasa memberikan kebaikan kepada hamba-Nya walaupun kita tak minta.

Allah maha kaya, Allah maha berkuasa.

Alhamdulillah tahun ni Allah izin jadi tahun kedua beraya sebagai pekerja. Allah izin hidupkan malam2 tertentu dengan pekerjaan.

Semoga, Allah izinkan karierku sebagai amal soleh.

Farhana, sentiasa lah tuntun diri kau menjadi mukmin.
Hati mu. Lidahmu. Jasadmu.
Ketika ramai dan seorang diri.
Jadilah muslimah mukminah,
Dont settle for the less.
And do build high hopes.
Ada di sana mukmin muslim yg Allah redha,
Semoga kita diredhai dengan keberkatan perkahwinan.

Yes i do think about getting married as my age increasing hahaha.

But i know, marriage in never the only ultimate aim for my life in this world.

Married Asiyah, the wife of firaun, only find peace and eternal hope in Allah.

"Oh Allah, build me near You a house in the heaven." her doa is recorded in the eternal script of Quran.

A wealthy, powerful husband isnt everything .

Allah is my only source of love, the only key to the best of my life, now and hereafter.

Ya Tuhan kami, kurniakan lah kepada kami, dalam kalangan pasangan dan anak2 kami, sebgai penyejuk mata, dan jadikan lah kami sebagai pemimpin bagi orang yang bertaqwa.

Semoga Allah berikan the best of the world and akhirat to me, and all of us.

Saturday, May 25, 2019

Ramadan 20

Baru keluar ot. 945am. Duduk kejap, for brain dump.

I started my oncall last night at 1930h, buka puasa dalam kereta dengan mak ayah, then sambung buka puasa makan nasi kerabu di pantry sorang2. Minum mocha setin, then pergi solat. Pkul 2010h ready untuk amik passover dari orang kerja pm.

Then, masuk satu case baru di ed. Cepat2 i jawab ok dr sebab nak pi ed, tak mau masuk ot.

Trace xray, eh lain macam ja. Pi tengok patient, tudia,,,, open fracture with tibiotalar dislocation. Ankle joint dia terkeluar habis. Nampak tulangggg.

And semua orang suruh aku masuk ot, jangan stay di ed sebab tu tanda2 kejonahan. Hahaha. Sayu gak laa. Tapi takpa, pujuk diri, benda tu dalam kawalan Allah, bukan dalam kawalan aku utk pesakit mai kes teruk2.

Lagi pun, malam 20 ramadan, a very blessed night in the last 10 days of ramadan. I pray for the best. And everything about ramadan is all about blessing. So my jonahness is also a blessing.

So i went to ot.

And no referal at ed, at all. While i was in ot, my friends can go ot to buy food.

Luckily i brought along bekal for sahur.

And sebelum ot start, semayang isyak dulu.

Alhamdulillah. Ot habis less than 1 hour before subuh. Allah izin sempat terawikh di surau ot. Dan makan makanan bekal utk sahur.

Lepas subuh, 0630h ada kes ot lagi. Tapi 0750h baru mula. Aduiyai.

Habis 0850h. Letih. Tapi Allah izin yg terbaik utk hamba Dia yg serahkan diri pada Dia. Allah takkan bebankan seseorang melebihi kemampuan.

Anyway, i am grateful for the open fracture cases. I am grateful to be in ot. I am grateful to be a doctor. Alhamdulillah.

So, berdasarkan cerita di atas, bilakah masanya saya tidur?
Masa dlm ot 😂😂😂nasib baik dr tak nampak or terhuyung hayang haha.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Kerek

"hello dr, saya dari bla bla bla.. Sy nak tanya, betul ke kalau nak inform pasal pt post op, inform dr?"
I want to first make sure i'm calling the right person.

And she scold me out of nowhere thinking i'm going to refer a case. Here ho cannot do referal.

"saya nak cakap dengan mo saja." katanya. Letak tepon.

So i told my mo. Then my respected mo (ud56) pun call la mo kerek tu.

Lps habis cakap semua, my mo kutuk mo kerek tu... Bla bla bla...

Sekian happy ending.

Urm jgn kerek ye. Ho ni mmg la...semua benda salah.
Tp ni bulan posa kot. Semoga, kerjaya anda yg begitu hanya penat di dunia saja... May u flourish in ur career, but with empty ending in akhirat.

Friday, May 10, 2019

Ahlan ramadan

- bismillah -

Ramadan is here, again, alhamdulillah. This is my second ramadan working.

I tried my best to lift the spirit for ramadan. Read quran from phone while waiting (outside the room) for a patient doing mri (kiv for sedation). But blergh... Everyone else beside me who were also waiting were laughing and taking selfies!! I stopped after few minutes. The spirit is just not there... :(

I missed the environment in jordan during ramadan.... Can u imagine, one day, i entered an office building and found everyone was holding quran? (there was one officer watching video from his pc though, but he was wearing earphones!)

And when i was inside the bus commuting from the university hospital to my apartment, i could see there were people reading quran inside the bus... Those who didnt, just kept quiet. Even taxi/ bus drivers didnt switch on their radios with loud banging arabic music like other days prior ramadan...

Everyone just slow down and respect the holyness of ramadan...

But not in here currently my working place :( :(

Nobody want to solat jamaah, what more solat tarawikh at hospital...
Nobody compete to offer foods for breaking our fast...
And no one read quran in public.... Not even in private at surau/bilik rehat

Just sleep... Or chatting.. Like normal days

T-T

Anyway,

Tonight i will be on call with my non muslims friends. And i cannot fast currently.

May Allah help me boost my ramadan spirit and may He grant me the best of ramadan, better than my previous years. Amiin.

Because we never know whether this could be our last... :'(

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Klinik rabu

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Hari ni klinik outpatient. Allah izin duduk dengan mo baik. Banyak case boleh discuss easily with my dr. Bila dia ada hal, kawan dia yang baik jugak pulak datang ganti.

Waktu klinik sesi petang, sorang patient mai pukul 3. Oklah discuss dengan bos. Then, sorang lagi mai pukul 5. Huhuhuhu. Pukul 455pm.

Yg pukul 5 tu, miss (specialist) sendiri bangun dan pergi jumpa pesakit dekat luar.. Tayah amik nombor apa dah. Sbb pukul 5 tu semua orang angkat bag. Tapi what i respected about my boss ni, dia sendiri bangun cepat2 pi dekat waris patient tu. Boleh ja dia nak blah balik tinggalkan ho ni clerk dan cari sendiri mo utk discuss.

And patient tu miss decide utk masuk wad.

Sebab miss dah tahu kes tu hospital lain dah refer dia dari awal tadi. Hehe. Cuma pakcik tu, berserah pada ilahi, mai klinik dekat2 pukul 5 sebab dia baru sampai dari hospital yang satu lagi nu.

Betapa Tuhan tak pernah sia2kan usaha hamba-Nya. And things that we cannot control, Allah ja yg boleh aturkan.

Alhamdulillah.

For every good person that Allah surrounded me with. Alhamdulillah.

Semoga segala kebaikan sentiasa berterusan berkatnya. Amiin

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Strawberriness

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Currently in my 4th posting.

Haha. The weird thing about this posting is that i havent create my own comfort zone yet despite approaching 2nd month here in the department.

Everyday is filled with palpitation.

And adrenaline rush.
Haha. Which makes me feel good.

And adrenaline also making me able to hold my bladder the whole freaking day, and skip every meals for the whole day.

Crazy life.
I pity my kidneys, ureters and bladder. I pity my tummy. But when things just get too busy, my appetite will be gone too.

And i dont even feel hungry.

I am hungrier on less busy days at work. And sleepy. Which is the 180 degree opposite to the super-me during busy days.

Well, speaking of comfort zone, my mos started to break the ice with jokes etc, but i am just scared to laugh hahahahaha.

Singa buat lawak depan kau, mesti la fikir 2 kali nak gelak ke nak lari hahahaha.

Omaigod. What a life nak gelak takut2.

And of course la, buat lawak 1 minit, then bila kita buat salah/ not up to expectation, singa makan orang la balik... Urmmm.

Got one boss yg tak suka orang kerja lambat2, xda arah tuju... Haha. Kalo apa2 masalah, ayat dia mesti, "mcm ni lah pompuan!" (sexist ya amattt)

Awal2 jumpa dia memang terasa la. Makan dalam weh. Bukan sedih tapi bengang rasa nak marah balik hahahaha.

Lps tu Allah bagi satu session clinic dengan beliau. Hahaha ofkos la kena kaw2 marah sebab slow itu ini hahahaha. Tapi tu my 1st patient jer. Next2 patient i dah laju sebab dah tau nak buat apa. Dia pun dah kurang marah hohoho. Tapi the whole session dua2 orang muka ketat. Dia serius, my resting bitch face is wayyyyy more serious hahahahaah.

Padahal session clinic lain dengan mo lain boleh ja gelak2 depa buat lawak and korek2 rahsia tanya pasal family. Urmmm.

Semalam pulak oncall dengan beliau. 1st referal my friends tak respond pun nak pi tengok. Shait. Aku la nih kena pi. Dah siap clerk case, sambil tunggu dr mai sambil palpitation. Hahaha. Takut weh kena pancung.

Urm anyway, as expected, memang dia buat kerja supersonic. And alhamdulillah boleh kejar. Siap sekali tengok 2 patients time tu. Otak belah dua. My friends tak turun2 nak tgk new referal. And dr was very kindddd sbb satu case lagi dia kata tayah present. And amaiiiizingly dia tolong ejakan nama xray view yg pelik2 tu hahahahaahah. I was likeeeee.... Ok, dia tak marah plak aku slow..? Padahal tak tlg eja pun xpe dr, saya okayyy.

And the next few referals pun aku jugak yg turun. Ape cer orang lain tamau turun. Shait. Haha tp ok ja la. Bearable. Dah hilang palpitation bagai2.

Then ada patient tiba2 nak aor. Tambah kerja. Urm tadi tamau masuk wad tak habaq awal2, pi setuju buat apa. Bila my friend counsel balik, eh, mak cik ni undecided pulakkk. Dr mai nak sign aor form, tapi sbb patient berbelah bagi pulak nak aor ke tak jadi aor, hahahahaa apa lagi meletup la dia. "macam ni la pompuan!" then dia blah.

Phew. I looked at my friends, oh no he just started to piss off. Which is not good sebab we need to survive the day with his mood being okay.

I picked up the aor form, and went to the makcik.

"dah ada keputusan ke?"
Tu je ayat. Lebih2 tamau cakap apa dah. I need result. *venusian mood off. mood martian activated* haha

Then senang. Mak cik nak admit.

'dr, pt td dah settle. Dia admit.'

Tu je ayat whatsapp. Men like result and simple wordings.

Then the whole day he was in goooood mood. Phew.

So, that's how my palpitation never cease in this department. We all tried our best not to irritate our boss, so that we can work happily weeeee.

U dont care, i dont care punya prinsip of interaction. Buat kerja je. Yg penting kerja smooth mood semua orang okay. So sebab tu bila buat lawak i tak reti nak gelak hahaha.

Dont buat lawak depan saya dr. Dont even smile. Sbb my i dont care is solidated with ur ego in the 1st place.

And lastly before balik, dr suh trace satu xray. I was doing my passover in the phone, tengah copy paste whatsapp message, and i dont like people bother me when i'm doing my job. Lastly dia bangun trace sendiri marah2. Hahahaha. I just dont care. Penat lah.

Malas fikir panjang, so my brain: okay dia tak marah tapi dia tolong buat kerja sendiri sebab i pun tengah busy.

Sekian, my happy strawberry oncall. 🍓😂

Ps. I told my friends that we will change the group icon to chilli (replacing strawberry) if his mood irritated. Hahahaha. Luckily till end of shift the strawberriness maintained. Alhamdulillah.

Ortho moments

- bismillah - Yesterday was one longed awaited day, an elective ot day. I barely had chance for elot. Even there was once given previously ...