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there is/are people with good lucky day^^ here now

Saturday, December 10, 2016

surgery struggle

- bismillah -

alhamdulillah. i am breathing (still).

it has been tiring months, i am currently in surgery rotation, my 3rd rotation for the final year.

well, surgery is tough. every day starts with 8.00 am sharp morning report, 8.30 am we went to the ward to see patients and take good case from them, at 10am then the doctor (consultant/specialist/resident) will come to discuss cases with us and do some bedside teaching. at 11.30 am we are dismissed, and there are another two lectures/seminar awaiting at 1 pm. reach home only at 4pm, which has already been dark because it is winter now (maghrib/sunset at 4.30pm).

phew.

i am not complaining, but i remembered those days in obs & gyne rotation when i reach home at 10am~ i dont like it either to home so early.

well, now since that i spent the whole day outside, things start to be in mess inside my house, i admit that. especially my room.

struggling hard to juggle and balance everything.

but yeah, i am not perfect. and i am happy in my current state. eventhough it is very disturbing to not shine in ward rounds, to be timidly shy to give opinions, well, takkan habis kalau nak wailing pasal tu. who cares kalau salah jawab dalam round...who cares kalau krik krik tak tahu jawapan...

but

i care....
i hate it bila i am mute for the whole day
i hate it bila i cant understand what the doctor was saying (mix arabic)
i hate it when they ask simple question, too simple, and get laughed when i cant answer it.
(doctor explained everything in arabic, insert some jokes, everybody laughing, i struggle hard to rewind what he said and to search for the funny part, when suddenly a simple question shot for me....stuttered and processing hard, 'what did he just ask me about?')

well, i started not to bother much about that field of weakness. i just want to appreciate my final year moments.
i think bila Allah dah bagi sampai hospital itu pun dah big blessing. walking from home to the bus station, 30-minutes journey by bus to the university, another 15-min walk to the hospital. yes, all those strength and effort only come with Him.
yes Allah boleh bagi semua yg kita nak mintak, tapi sedarlah, yg kita dapat tu dah besar dah lebih dari apa yg kita mampu.

being grateful, makes us feeling better,

well, life is hard. but Allah is with me everyday. He will make it an ease for me. amiin.

pray pray pray,
moga saya makin cemerlang.

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Mom

- bismillah -

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You're all I've ever wanted, and my arms are open wide
'Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much, I love you

I long to see the sunlight in your hair
And tell you time and time again how much I care
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow
Hello, I've just got to let you know
- Hello, Lionel R

Ps. Mom woke up in the middle of the night and texted me through Line checking up whether her daughter in the other continent is doing fine or not in the cold weather..i somehow think that her doa has made me warm in my blanket without needing the heater at all today..😃😭

Alhamdulillah. I believe every mother has always made doa for their children. Think of how your day and night progressed, how things become easy for you, how warm you are in the coldness of winter, these are maybe the answers of prayers by people who love us...

And if your mom is not with you anymore in this world, send doa for her for warmness and peacefulness, just like how she checks on you before, because a child's doa can reach his/her mother :)

May Allah grant our mothers who always reminded of their family members no matter how far they are, with His blessing and mercy. Amiin.

Monday, November 28, 2016

wad pediatrik

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. tadi on call di wad surgery bahagian urology. kebetulan turun ke wad pediatrik, ada pesakit urology di situ.

saya sedang berada di kaunter depan, tengok fail pesakit dalam komputer. tiba2 datang sorang budak perempuan, bercakap2 tak berhenti. tapi sayangnya tak ada suara...di tekak nya ada stoma..baru lepas bedah

dia cakap tak henti2 walaupun saya tak faham apa dia nak sampaikan.
saya melutut dan cuba dengar apa dia nak sampaikan,
dan dia pun cuba tarik tangan saya nak ajak ke mana ntah...

kemudian mak dia datang...senyum

tanya khabar umur, nama....rasa bersalah nak tanya sakit apa anaknya itu...kot lah mak dia sedih

tapi budak tak sedih, tak frust walaupun orang tak faham apa dia cakap...

semoga lepas2 ni dia elok balik.

but i love it when she approached me and my friend, the way she talked - more like telling story - dengan semangatnya, and the way she brave enough to take my hand and when i offered mine to her. the moment when she talked while i sit before her...

i love you...get well soon and may you have a very bright future dik!

Friday, November 25, 2016

Blessings

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah. Sekarang sudah masuk musim sejuk. Mungkin yang terakhir di bumi ini kerana tahun depan saya bakal berangkat pulang!

Alhamdulillah.
Kepada Allah segala kesyukuran kita limpahkan
Yang memberi nikmat sejuk dan panas,
Tempat berteduh, air panas dan heater...
Semua itu perkara besar, tapi kita mudah saja terlepas pandang.

Allah.

Semoga Allah limpahkan juga kemanisan iman kepada mereka yang homeless, pelarian, petugas kemanusiaan dan keselamatan,
Yang tidur entah bertilam atau tanah,
Yang merekot sendi kesejukan,
Moga dipermudah urusan berwuduk dan solat,
Semoga nikmat sejuk ini tidak menjauhkan hamba2 daripada rahmat Tuhan.

Dan aku akan terus meniti kehidupan ini, dalam fasa2 baru sehingga hari aku bertemu Allah.
Doa, takkan terhenti hingga mengecap nikmat sebenar di akhirat kelak.
Jangan pernah settle down di zon selesa, kerana ini bukan destinasi kita utk berlabuh!

Tuhan, aku cintakan Mu!
Dalam senang dan susahku, dalam sejuk dan panasnya dunia sekelilingku, jangan pernah tinggalkan aku terkapai di sini...

Mengejar impian, untuk bertemu Tuhan pada hari yg paling baik...

😭

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Wanita yang bersyukur

- bismillah -

Ada wanita yang diuji dengan persoalan berasa tidak cukup dengan kecantikan fizikal, ada pula yang diuji dengan berasa tidak cukup dengan kareer/pencapaian akademik... dan banyak lagi isu lain ie anak, harta, pemberian suami...

Selamanya hati wanita takkan pernah salim dalam ketenangan selagi setiap nikmat dunia ingin dikecapi sepenuhnya.
Kerana bagaikan air laut, makin diminum makin haus.

Beruntunglah, jika dapat bangun dari hambatan ini. Kau takkan tercungap berlari jika kau tak mengizinkan 'mereka' mengejarmu. Berikan definisi 'pencapaian' dan 'berjaya dalam kehidupan' pada tempat yang hakiki. Janganlah menjadi mangsa yang dikejar oleh sesuatu bernama 'paling cantik', 'paling tinggi darjatnya', 'paling bahagia rumah tangganya', 'paling kaya kerjayanya',  kerana mengejar 'paling' 'paling' itu, memiskinkan kekayaan sebuah hati.

Bukankah, nafas yang sempurna hari ini sudah merupakan nikmat yang besar?

***
Ciri nafas sempurna dan normal:
-Kadar 12-20 nafas seminit
-Rima rentak tidak tercungap, tak terhenti, xsemput
-Tidak terlalu dalam, tidak terlalu sedikit tarikan nafas (jika terlalu sakit, atau patah tulang dada, maka pesakit tak akan boleh bernafas panjang seperti biasa)
-Tiada bunyi tambahan (tanda ada sekatan/tercekik - pernah dengar bunyi lembu sembelih korban?)

Bersyukurlah, wahai farhana dan rakan2nya.

Apa Allah beri sentiasa cukup, tak perlu persoalkan. Yang layak disoal ialah, adakah kesyukuran kita sudah cukup? Tidak.
Selamanya, hakikat hamba takkan mampu menyaingi kebesaran Tuhannya, dalam apa ruang sekalipun.

Allah maha besar.
Lebih besar daripada apa yang kita fikir kita ada atau tiada,
Lebih besar lebih penting lebih utama daripada masalah yany kita fikir kita hadapi.

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