coping with mood swings

-bismillah-

can't wait for this tiring year to finish. the longer i wait the harder for me to stand with the pressure. it's not really a hard pressure but people around me make that even harder to achieve.

a junior of my school approach me one day,
asking how do i study? she even said a friend of mine has said to her that i'm always LOOK ready and well prepared for every single period of studies in school, finished ALL homeworks given and always know what to answer when teachers asking questions.
no, not at all.
it's just that that friend of mine did not know me exactly at all.
those who says that "farhana is pandai. nothing can't stop her" just dont know the real me.

i'm human too. i have feelings. i have the heart that ticks when certain good-looking boys passed by too. i too sense a bad feeling when teachers get angry. in another words, i am just like anybody, have strong will and sometimes lost my guts.

last week was horrible. my mood just swings badly at the time of the month. well, tears falling down unwantedly, crying badly in front of my parents and a friend, wanting to go home suddenly while i was in a tuition class, wanting to go and scold a guy who is stealing glances on me (no, he's not. just my mood that time ;) and the worst of all, i can't even touch my book to study.
the moment i touch a book, i feel bad. feeling that comes when you want to cry. and i cried badly.
it is just like i am being 'sampuk'

what if i do?
dad said: if you believe in so, then you are.
mom said: heal yourself with the help of Allah. come on, read some prayers (since i cant solat that time)

alhamdulillah. things are just getting better now.

so, the moral is..

• dont follow your emotions
• get ready for PMS
• never missed to read Quran whenever you can, for you would be feeling really longed for Quran when that time of the month (period)
• Quran reading for today, lasts for the next times until your iman dries up
• yeah, iman dries up quickly if it is not moisten with Quran and tazkirahs
• :)

it is an exam periods now. alhamdulillah, my mood is just getting better. i choose to hear the Quran recitations since i cant read it by myself. and it works! alhamdulillah^^

may Allah loves me always and ever. may not i lose the LOVE just only to be covered with a tiny love from just an ordinary guy. an Allah's creature.
:)

watdono is ignoring

[scrap posting]

i've been ignoring many acquaintances for certain reasons... even to my camp mates etc.
and today
baru saya tahu, macam tu rasa rupanya bila kita buat tak tak tahu / buat tak kenal...
or pusing sblah lain or tak tengok sb langsung..
...pedih la jugak...
hehh patutlah kawan saya marah sangat sblum ni.. :]

and..minggu ni,
sb balas balik to me~

haha x pa, saya ada Allah :)
prinsip tetap prinsip~~

*sb tu 'somebody' utk sapa2 yg jarang2 (bukan tak pnah~) guna kamus Oxford Advd Learners :D

SPM 11A+

-bismillah-

lama tak tulis entry kat blog nih..huhu x pandai menulis daa~

SPM 11A+
itu target saya. target semua orang yang ambil 11 subjek.
hanya ada dua possible outcomes (dlm probability math f5~),
sama ada kita dapat mencapainya atau tidak.

macam mana nak dapat?

dengan keinginan sahaja, kita tau tak cukup.
dengan kegigihan saja, kita boleh nampak peluang cerah.
kalau keinginan + kegigihan pula, masih tak tentu akan dapat lagi

dapat, tak dapat
itu terletak pada Allah. kita takut, kalau Allah memilih kita mengecapinya berbanding orang lain, timbul pula riak, ujub, sombong.
kalau tidak ditakdirkan mengecapinya pula, takut terhilang rasa yakin pada Allah, lalu menjadilah dia orang yang berputus asa.
firman Allah, "wahai orang yang beriman, janganlah kamu menjadi orang yang berputus harap"
nauzubillah

jadi, masih perlukah target kalau belum tentu dapat?
ataupun jangan ambil spm, tak perlu risau kesan dapat mencapai target atau tak..
SALAH.

semasa di tingkatan 3, seorang ustazah ajar saya dan rakan-rakan,
katanya, "kamu kalau nak berdoa, doalah macam ni.. Ya Allah, berikanlah aku keputusan yang cemerlang dan mendapat keberkatan dari-Mu kerana sesungguhnya Kau telah pun mengetahui keputusan yang akan aku dapat nanti"

berserah diri.
ataupun prinsip berfikiran terbuka seperti yang digariskan pakar motivasi.
kita bersedia menerima kemungkinan2 yang akan terjadi dengan berlapang dada. tanpa prejudis dan putus asa.
sebenarnya, kita mungkin hanya tahu, muslim = orang islam, sedangkan maksud yang lain juga 'muslim' ialah 'orang yang berserah diri'

balik semula pada spm saya :),
keberkatan menjadi satu lagi unsur penting.
kata cikgu masa saya sekolah rendah, "kamu baca sikit, kamu paham banyaaaak" yang menyebabkan saya & the gang teruja @_@
dalam slot tazkirah di sekolah menengah, ustazah cakap sth yang buatkan saya rumus isinya jadi,

"keberkatan counts from the start"

keberkatan membezakan result kita yang sebenar.
kata pengerusi pibg skolah, "doa seorang ibu itu amat makbul. tapi kalau anak berjaya tanpa keberkatan, mungkin ibu itu akan dia buang selepas berjaya"
luah seorang rakan, "even orang tak ada A pun boleh masuk u, kenapa orang yang berbilang A+ tak dapat tawaran?"
saya pun jawab dlm hati, Allah tahu apa yang tak kena.

lama dah menulis,, perlu pi study pulak :)
nauzubillah drpd jadi orang yang cakap, tapi tak buat.

oh ya,,
niat (keinginan) + kegigihan + keberkatan = berjaya dengan izin Allah
semoga Allah memimpin aku walau apapun statusku di dunia ini:)

psst: ada yang marah saya sebab tak bagi salam kepadanya, tapi saya pujuk hati, "keberkatan itu datangnya daripada ALLAH" dan setiap salam itu sunat. alangkah indahnya jika salam itu tanda ikhlas, bukan simbol hormat antara manusia. :]

itu bukan ego

-bismillah-

 quoted from slot usrah tadi,
"itu bukan ego, itu prinsip diri"

ya..farhana, jangan risau dengan tentang perkara pening itu~ kamu patut bangga dengan prinsip diri. ya! jgn mengalah farhana dengan makhluk abstrak itu~
kuat, kamu!
hihii^^

act, saya nk gtau, kalau anda dah pegang satu prinsip, jangan patah balik. jangan runtuhkan pegangan itu. walau menyusahkan, walau merunsingkan, walau menyepikan (haha), harapkan hikmah daripada Allah.
'semoga apa yang aku lakukan ini akan diberi hidayah + hikmah + rahmat daripada Allah'

ya Allah, aku mohon segala yang terbaik daripada-Mu! amiin :)

sampai pun

this is you,
written by me.

birds flying,
clouds disappearing,

i'm departing,
but you are blocking.

i look in your eyes,
i see those cries.

the symptoms seem to persist,
why in the earth does such person exists?

when is it the time to stop?
to find my missing blue flip-flop.

once made me high,
once made me cried...

it ticks in head,
thinking about that life mistakes.

i said that you are wrong,
you ignored it singing a song.

a tune of life you play,
on stages of drama full of replays.

i watched you there,
and now you are here.

i said you are bad,
you reply with a glad!

i said that you are weird,
but you seemed to be in tears!

i'm glad,
that i'm back.
i'm glad,
that you are sacked.
i'm glad,
that we are flat

i'm glad,
really that glad!

long time no updating ^^

-bismillah-

it has been a long time! :)

hi there~ salam.
uh oh! just now i realise that my last post [about the photoshoot~~] was dated back in 3rd of march. it has been quite a long term of inupdated,,

well, in the past 22 days back started from today, i've been through long, exciting and full of joy journey :)
alhamdulillah.

actually, i have been spending all my school breaks which started from 12-21 march 2010 doing outdoors activities. in other words, i spent no days with my family at all, and that is something new for me to endure. (maybe next year would going to be the same, insyaAllah). so, 10-day-holiday spent NOT in perlis, but in sarawak and selangor (shah alam or shah kelam, my bro said once)..
so, let me do my recounts :-)

- 12/3/2010 -
departs to KLIA-LCCT with the school bus, together with my other 27 friends and 5 teachers. i happened to catch a glimpse of unexpected event, that is an accident on the PLUS highway in a rainy situation which involved a lorry transporting newly-launched blue boxs of fishes (YES, it's overturned and the fishes are scattered on the road!) and five more cars, i guess. oh~

- 13/3/2010 -
arrive at the LCCT exactly at 2.00 am. walked and waited inside the building with sleepy head + reddening eyes with blurry vission (because of tai* mata~) and not to forget my not-so-small luggage (yet it's considered as smaller by my friends~ ) and the clinging red kipling bag~ lalalla.
at 7.25am in the morning, after long exhausted hours of waiting (i dont even sleep in that morning since  the arrival) i departed to KUC, kuching~

turned to have my sleepy head back while in the plane. "please2, dont fall asleep yet. i must see the take off view. the view of the land from sky when leaving. ..zzZzz oops!...i forced open my eyes to see the stewardess demonstrating safety guidances~ (oh, lama rupanya masa yg diambil sblum btoi2 bertolak)

"flight attendants be seated for take off!" the capten called out. suddenly i found that 'oh, i'm really flying in the sky~ alhamdulillah. *this is my first time daaa

naik~~ naik~~ crossing the layer of clouds. it's so NICE. i said to myself, 'oh, this is how it looks like above the clouds! nice, white with nothing to be an eyesore'
subhanAllah :) somehow, i take that 'so, maybe in the artics things are just the same, windy + gases + white + no impurities to stain the view..

i fell asleep..zzZzz..Z..

photoshoot.indoor.outdoor~ :)

-bismillah-
alhamdulillah. thank you ALLAH. thank you Mak. thank you Ayah. thank you Cikgu. thank you Cikgu (1 + 3 - 1) minus one because she's not so helping~

i've been into a photoshoot!

it's great to have some nice, good & unpredictable moments^^
after a long day of school hours~
after being buried in pile of homeworks & notes,
after coping with tiring days full of challenges and certain mind-broken riddles of ideas~
after what have my certain quite troublesome friends had done to me..
before i realised that Allah knows about these days i've been endured
and even after all witty things happening in school + extra classes + tuition classes + home, :)
plus my sudden i-dont-want-to erratic change of mood and heart feeling~ ;)

Allah treats me into a photoshoot..lalalla~ may this life is blessed for all the time~

haha tu saja nak share :)
-it isnt wrong to be thrilled, right? as long as i dont go jumping here and there telling every passerby about my nice evening activities :D..haha! thanks to.. blogging.

doakan kejayaan saya dunia dan akhirat!

satu untuk di kongsi lagi,
"siapa yang menginginkan kehidupan akhirat, maka baginya bahagian kehidupan dunia dan akhirat. tetapi barang siapa yang hanya menginginkan kehidupan dunia saja, maka sikit sahaja bahagian dunia untuknya, bahkan di akhirat dia mendapat azab yang pedih." -nau'zubillah min dzalik-

-n-