Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Not now

- bismillah -

Today is my off day. Spent time with my beloved parents. Alhamdulillah.

Mom talked about our kampung... One house can be built here for my abang, one other there for my sis and me and so on.

I said to her that i dont have such a vision/mision to build a house, yet. What i see now is i want to further my study, go for master programme or parallel exams, then be a specialist, and to practice in uk. That is my 10-year long term goal. Haha. (it is good to dream high right?)

Then suddenly my mom asked,
Rumah tangga macam mana?

Reality hits me hard.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

My 3rd week of housemanship

- bismillah -

Out of the many days that had passed, there was a night that 
i witnessed how my kind MO developed hypoglycemia secondary to hyperdedication.

Allah bless him and all good and kind doctors.

Thursday, March 22, 2018

My 2nd week of housemanship

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah... Dah masuk minggu kedua. Esok start hari pertama minggu ke-3.

Cabaran hari2 berbeza.

Dan bila diri sendiri rasa berat dan byk workload, sebenarnya orang lain pun ada workload masing2. So far, hold on to the daily doa... And only Allah can help me in every situation.

Merasa lah review 9 patients utk night round.
Balik pkul 12 tgh malam.
And paling takleh blah bila terkapai2 present case pada visiting consultant urologist. 😪😅 dia mai pkul 11 malam kot.. Naseb baik che tak balik tinggal wad tadak orang 😪😪😪

Anyway, everyday is a blessing.

Semoga hidup dan matiku dalam jagaan Allah.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

My 1st week of housemanship

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah... Segala puji bagi Allah. Tiada daya dan upaya melainkan dengan izin Allah.

Saya dah mula seminggu berkerja di wad. So far so good, banyak benda belajar hari2.

Masa medical school,
Org yg ada suspected GI bleed, next step ialah reassess bla bla bla sampailah buat scope utk investigate.

Tapi lps masuk kerja, bila sebut scope ni kita tak terhenti di situ ja, tp lps dr plan utk scope, kita kena buat form consent dan checklist. Haha. So it's more to technical issue la utk bergelut awal2 nih.

Colleagues, alhamdulillah diorang pun byk tunjuk contoh yg baik. Very helpful. Dgn syarat jgn la pi kacau depa waktu depa tak okay haha.

Bila tgk balik, Allah atur dan izin utk ikut elektif di medical ward dulu masa belajar, walaupun plan asal mintak dept lain tapi tak dapat. Byk yg angels waktu tu ajar saya.

And on my first day pun dah tolong turun clerk dekat ED. Haha. I cant believe in what happened too. Tapi alhamdulillah, pakcik tu dah selamat Discharge kemarin lps 5 hari di hospital. My first patient yg i treat (with the team la).

And met the angel there. Recognised me. Surprisingly.

And to think again, bila kita ajar dan turunkan ilmu dkt orang lain, best kan bila pahala sentiasa mengalir. Sekarang, nak pasang branula, teringat cikgu2 yg ajar, nak isi form pun, teringat cikgu2 yg ajar. Alhamdulillah.

Sampai semalam ada kakak tu cakap, dia pun baru la jugak, "kakak kesian dkt farhana, 1st poster dh kena buat macam2. Kakak dulu 1st poster senior2 semua ajar tau."

Then i just realised, i learnt most of the things masa elektif dulu. So masa masuk kali ni, mungkin ada clue sikit2 walau tak semua, tp bukan total clueless la. Dan dr2 mo and specialist pun supporting in their own way.

As long as" i choose to do it", not with the attitude of "i have to do it", in shaa Allah rasa ringan sikit la utk buat apa2. Lagipun, utk buat benda yg kita xpernah buat, ialah utk keluar dari comfort zone... And keluar dari comfort zone bukanlah perkara mudah.

So, my record in my 1st week ialah:
- hantar lab form, tp tak cop & sign. Haha lols. Kawan yg tlg turun lab copkan.
- hantar gsh, tp tak tulis diagnosa (sbb tak perasan dan 'tak faham' word tu hahahah #bajet). Turun pi blood bank utk tulis. Takpa saya tak kisah byk jalan, asalkan jgn reject the sample hahaha.
- request blood for the first time, berjaya! Lgpun mmg my patient (my 1st patient tu la) tachypneic pun, symptomatic anemia. Rezeki pak cik tu.
- hantar blood 1st time, 3x cucuk, rejected sbb clotted. Kesian pakcik tu huhuhuhu.
- rasa excited tgk lab result darah yg kita amik sendiri dan nama sendiri form dia utk another patient. Yeay, blood not rejected. Yeay, branula dia berfungsi walaupun masa pasang tu menitik2 darah. Sorii uncle. Hihu.
- my patients and their family bade me goodbye bila diorang dah discharge
- ada patient LO, may Allah bless his soul
- masuk scope room, belajar dilute ubat. Rasa teruja sbb boleh sedarkan patient lps bagi flumazenil. "ni kamu, pi teman mak cik kat luar nu, elderly patient ni mudah collapse" ttba rasa aku ni boleh diharap jugak eh hahaha. Actually pernah bawak tok ke scope, so i treat the elderly lady like my tok laa...

Anyway, my hypothesis so far is that the definitive treatment for any elderly is TLC, tender loving care. You'll be surprised how even an ADL dependent suddenly sitting down on the bed and greeting you good morning sambil baca newspaper. 😂 malam sblum tu dressing kaw kaw punya sampai pakcik tu insaf dan dia pun start tunjuk effort utk jaga luka dia... Hehe. Dan ada pakcik yg start feeling well lps masuk scope.. Hehe padahal itu investigation, bukan ada treat apa2 pun utk dia. Hehe. My TLC hypothesis seems accepted right...

Doakan, diberkati segalanya. :)

Saturday, March 3, 2018

How my king treat his princess

- bismillah -

Alhamdulillah, today i get a chance to attend a wedding. Usually i would go with my father only since my mother finds it difficult to move around in crowded places like kenduri with her walking stick/frame.

I noticed that most of the time, firstly, my father would find me a table/place to sit. Next, after he has finished eating, most of the time i've always the later to finish my meal haha, he would wait for me to finish my food before going to wash his hands. It is not just that. He would bring along my plate stacked together on his. Me? I just has to stand up and straightly go to the sink.


I know, it should be me who took the role. However, i love my father for his love. His sign of love is act of service. He would just do anything to his family, as long as he is in good health. I remembered when he was sick one day, due to hernia and slip disc, he just cant do anything and just lie down. I feel so helpless at the moment.

He makes me feel special.

Alhamdulillah. May Allah bless him, and increase his darajat as one of His specials.


Ps. I am just one of his princesses. You know what, he's been verry more loving and helpful to his queen. ❤️ alhamdulillah.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

1st week in service

I started my housemanship since last week with PTM course, it was a compulsary course for every goverment servants.

Starting this Monday, i reported my duty to the hospital, and today is my 4th day.

My batch was 14 people in total, with same number of males and females.

The first week is packed with pathological course, starting with histo/cyto, biochem, hemato, microbe - labs.


On our 5th day of posting, we got chances to draw blood from each other, that was to screen our blood sugar and lipid. Alhamdulillah i managed to draw up blood easily from my friend's arm, however, poor her, not her fault at all, but my blood seemed not getting out at all. After 4th poke and changes of needles, with 3 people trying for it including the staff nurses, finally the blood flow out.

Oh my goodness that was hurt to have it in both of my arms.

After friday prayer, we submitted forms to the HR department. We were given a logbook for our respective postings. Alhamdulillah, i got surgery as my first posting.

I dont know how things will go later on, but i must say alhamdulillah first above anything rite?


Pray. Pray i'm a safe and competent doctor. May Allah bless me and my friends.



ED on my last days

Allah tahu what i'm feeling. Semoga sentiasa dlm jagaan Allah. Amiin. Semoga beroleh penempatan terbaik. Utk dunia dan akhirat. In shaa ...