Sunday, November 12, 2017

Overnight changes

- bismillah -

When i left malaysia for my study in jordan 6 years ago, i have nothing in my mind to worry for, except that it maybe the last time for me to meet my family if anything bad happen.

Eventually, with the fear in mind, i fly back home to malaysia on every holiday. The shortest one was for 1 week duration, with 3 days for travelling. The longest time was for about 2 months (6-7 weeks), that was for my elective posting at the state hospital in my hometown.

In the early years, my parents would have send me at KLIA, most of the time driving there all the way from perlis (my sis lives in cheras). There was one time they accompanied me with return flight tickets from Alor Star to KLIA, on the same day. It was a memory worth to be treasured since that was the first time flying for my mother. I still remember how was her reaction then when taking off. And as the time went by, i went alone to KLIA, with my parents only sent me back to jordan at the alor star airport.

That were some stories about departures. How about arrivals? Well, there were more occasions that they fetched me at the alor star airport more than at klia. So, i can only walked fast and queued for the lift to level 5 at the klia arrival hall. Most of the time, i dared not to look at any one who was standing there at the arrival hall because i know nobody was waiting for me, at least there. However, upon arriving at the alor star airport, i was the first to leave the plane, and hurriedly went to the belt to fetch my luggages. And i would search for my beloved parents faces as they were waiting at the arrival hall. I remembered how once i hugged tight my mom who was standing there, in front of everyone there.

Well, the next time i went home, i found my mom sitting at the chair im the arrival hall. And the last time i went home for good after graduating, i got my mom and dad still able to fetch me at the airport, buy this only my dad coming out of the car. My mom, stays in her seat since it was difficult and painful for her to get out.


How are my parents sending me at departures, and them fetching me at the arrivals gradually changing?

It was due to my mother's health condition. She has OA on her hips bilaterally. Over the years, the OA progressing badly. They even couldnt attend my graduation ceremony in jordan eventhough that was what we had intended to since the beginning of my study.

With multifactorial reasons, me too didnt attend the ceremony. I left jordan for good after my final exams and getting the results clear.

I spent about 4 months at home with my parents. Despite the deteriorating pain, my mother works around the house everyday. Her ikigai (i think) is about setting the house at its best condition, in and out. So there was one day she could be found (asking me) vacuuming the floors, and maybe another day telling (me again) to rake up the dry leaves in the house compound. She had limping gait, but that never stopped her. On the day of her surgery, she even sawed small tree branches on her own. Well, her hands did most of the works since her hips OA had compromised her standing and walking functions.

After 4 months of so much things to do, so much places to clean, so frequent the dry leaves piling up, i was left to do everything alone.

My mother now is wheelchair-bound or needing the walking frame, at least for 3 months as the doctor advised before she can walk on her own. That is to stabilise and strengthen her new implant.

Can you imagine? I was used to do everything with my mom and dad, all the odd jobs in and around the house, from the morning till evening routines of cleaning and clearing the house, and now the routines have changed. In a drastic way.

Within a night, she can no longer go to the eneven ground she used to when imspecting the mango trees. To make it worse, nobody takes over her job of taking care the harumanis trees. While me and my dad only focused our attention of taking care my mom.

The first week after discharge from the hospital was tough. I dont want to remember details of that, but all of us fight our tears everyday. Only my mom broke down often almost every night, but me and my other family members hold it back on our own. Well, it is emotionally disturbing to have lost our ability to walk so sudden, right? Luckily this just for temporary 3 months. I want to fly with my mom and dad, again.. Amiin.

And now, everything runs smoothly alhamdulillah. Today has been day 20 post op. We need another 70 days to reach 3 months rehab time. My mother can independently take care of her own now, eventhough she may need help with moving around the house. I help with the laundry, cleaning jobs and some cooking. Most of the time, i struggle to make everything becomes a routine. Uhuhuhu. I was one spoilt child who woke up at noon and found my breakfast ready on the table before, now i have become a better housechild cum housekeeper. Hahahaha.

Anyway, alhamdulillah. I can sense that i had a more fulfilling life now compared to before. And i have managed to curb my online shopping habits, soften down the urge to travel, travel and travel. Hahaha. Because currently i have so much things to do around the house that i no longer need to go somewhere else hahaha.

Alhamdulillah, for this fulfilling life i have now.

I must remember, Allah is always with us. And all things in the dunya, the good or the bad, are all temporary.

Because only Allah is eternal.

So i must be grateful for every good moments, and be patient for every not-so-good moments.

That's it. Enough writing theraphy for today. Pray for my mom speedy recovery.


P/s have you imagine doing laundry in the morning everyday like a real perfect housewife? Hahahaha i havent before so i feel real purrrfect, even just doing laundry.


  1. Life journey kita hampir sama :)
    Mungkin sbb tu, sy suka singgah blog n baca post2 awk ;)

    Anyway, I've also have the urge to travel.
    Tapi kena/terpaksa letak tepi dulu sbb ada benda lain yg kena bagi keutamaan.

    Moga mak awk cepat sembuh. Moga awk n family terus diberi kekuatan, kesabaran n ketenangan utk hadapi apa2 pun dugaan, ujian yang Allah bagi.

    1. dear, thanks <3 i really appreciate to read ur comments..eventhough sometimes i took years to reply ;)


ED on my last days

Allah tahu what i'm feeling. Semoga sentiasa dlm jagaan Allah. Amiin. Semoga beroleh penempatan terbaik. Utk dunia dan akhirat. In shaa ...