- bismillah -
An ester of autumn mornings
You fell to the ground last night,
and nobody noticed.
but in the morning you were
picked up by a stranger's hand,
held gently and lovingly,
because your presence counts.
Your smell has strengthen a
weak heart that is anxious to
meet the world.
And how many times that we have stumbled, lost and helpless, but Allah get us rised in the morning with hopes and forgiveness afterwards?
Praise is to Allah Who gives us life after He has caused us to die and to Him is the return.
(Dua upon waking up from the sleep)
Good morning farhana, rise and shine!
I wrote the above poem when i was alone in the lecture room while waiting for the rest of students to arrive. It was still early in the morning.
I came by bus to the hospital (badiah), a full crowded bus at first that some gets to stand while those who seated had to share the seats. Somehow the situation gets loose as people reached their destinations. But how harsh the condition is, the jasmine flower that i just picked up remained intact, and preserved its smell along the way until i reach the hospital. I did that almost everyday, going to the hospital holding a jasmine flower in between my fingers, with the cloves inside my palm.
Once in a while, i brought it to my tip of the nose. It helps clear out smokes and anything that arent good smells inside the bus.
I suffer from every morning laziness, feeling hard and wanting to cry each time i am on my way to the hospital.
However, so far, i managed to get rid of those bad feelings, eventhough it comes everyday.
Despite my laziness and low mood in the morning, i always reach the hospital early, or the earliest i should say. Not on my own accord (because i have always been a late-comer - and the last to go home - since darjah 1). It just happened. I manage to arrive 15 minutes before 8 am.
And that gives me a plus point to fight my 'depression'. How? :)
As always, there is attendance sheet which need to be signed each day. And as usual, i cant signed it the moment i arrive at the hospital because i arrived way earlier than the secretary. Haha. Tak semangat aku pun, Allah izin sampai awal mcm orang paling bersemangat atas muka bumi. Alhamdulillah tho.
So today, i go to the office at about 8.15am to sign my attendance, and the assistant secretary (who always arrive early before 8am). I greet her good morning, she replied and smiled, asking my name and cheerfully said,
"I have it signed for you!"
"Dah tanda dah nama awak."
I gave her the most biggest smile saying thank you so much!
And that simply lifted my mood :)
Tadi nak turun tangga yg under construction. Ada loose pebbles, ada piles of rubbles. Takkan nak lalu atas timbunan batu besar, jadi pijak jugalah batu2 kecik, of which risiko tergelincir. Pak cik guard sorang datang dari arah sebelah, dia pun nak turun tangga. Dia turun melalui batu2 besar. And as i was descending the unfinished stairs, he was watching me anxiously. He put his steps towards me as if he was anticipating me to fall. Luckily i managed to get hold the wall alongside the stairs. Bila dah selamat, pakcik guard say something, of which i replied terima kasih ambik berat pasal saya 😂
Upon entering the hospital gate, ada pak cik guard. I greeted him with salam and smile, and those were another points that lifts my mood.
I think, interacting and having good support and experience with surrounding people are among the ways to fight 'morning blues'.
Thank you, those peole simple remarks really made my day.
The assistant secretary who ticked my attendant sheet and recognising me as the earliest to arrive almost everyday, the pak guard yg anxious tgk saya redah tangga tak sudah tu, the pak guard yang jawab salam,
The conductor bus yg ajak saya naik bas dan suruh orang share seat dgn saya, suruh saya naik dulu sebelum budak2 lelaki skolah naik, yg suruh org yg berdiri halang laluan utk turun bas dulu supaya saya dpt naik,
I appreciate everything.
You have done me a very big favor:
Smiles and sudden lifts of mood. You give me another day to live and the courage and spirit to embrace what it has to offer. Thank you Allah for your arrangement for me to meet them early in the morning.
A very good morning indeed :)