- bismillah -
It is my first week of neuro rotation. This is both a very mind-tearing and tiring rotation. O&G was tiring physically because one of the hospital is quite far and the lecture started at 1pm (we finished round at around 11.30am but the bus came at 12), while neuro rotation is only in one hospital but we finished ward round with consultant at 11.30am and lecture started immediately afterwards with the same doctor. No break for both students and the doctors for that particular day. Well, today is extra tiresome because that 11.30am lecture ended at 1pm and continued with another lecture by other doctor until 3pm. I was very tired to even tolerate with the crowds and what more to wait longer for bus for home. Aggrasive type A mode activated. I want to go home fast!!!
To sit and reflect the whole day inside the bus while going home, i asked my own self. For today's hardship and tiredness, what do i really expect in return in the future? A secured job with big income? No it is not enough. I have to straighten my intention, studying medicine for the sake of my Creator. For Allah to bless me and reward me in the hereafter too. Amiin. Islam teaches her believer to not take the world as everything, but expand the hopes and expectations of Life to the hereafter too. We believe that an eternal life is not on this world, everything will eventually come to its end but the afterworld is the start of real life of eternal blessing. So those who mix their intentions with wanting rewards from just the world and the human beings, they are actually comprimising their faith and sole hope with Allah. SubhanAllah. We seek refuge from associating Allah with His creations in any kind of thoughts nor actions.
Today, the consultant doctor is very busy. He answered more than 5 important phone calls, all are about patients' consultations from junior doctors assigned, without failing to forget at which point does the lecture interupted. In the afternoon session, there are several times that the callers ask the doctor to come and review the patients inmediately, but the doctor keep repeating the same reply, "i am sorry, i am with the students, i will attend the patients after certain minutes (until the lecture end)". He was a specialised surgeon in head trauma, so any department requiring neurological consultations will phone him today. I heard him prescribing tx and mx for emergency dept. And when he received more and more phone calls from various dept, he asked for all those patients to be presented to the emergency dept because he will go there straightly after the lecture.
A very dedicated doctor in teaching and managing his patients. May Allah bless him amiin.
May Allah ease my way to becoming a safe, dedicated and competent doctor too. Amiin.
8.30 to 9.30am - headache lecture
10.15 - 11.30am - approach to head trauma lecture
11.30am - 1pm - congenital anomalies of nervous system lecture
1pm to 3pm - subarachnoid hemorhage + neurovascular malformations lectures
Laa hawla wa la quwwata illa billah.
Bought some bread during the 9.30 short break, had hot chocolate with. And by time going to the last lecture, i ate the leftover bread in the lift.
The rule is to eat while you can!
I cried for real while writing this. Too tired. Today is my turn to cook, alhamdulillah i managed to call for meal delivery service. It is 5.16pm now, at 6pm i have to attend an event at azzikr. Can i just say no like what i just did to my cooking commitment?
Once a friend advised me not to be a people pleaser.
I hate making decision. I hate refusing invitations and closing chances and opportunities.