Thursday, February 18, 2016

Bday story

- bismillah -

I
Cake dan birthday.

Mak dengan ayah never failed to celebrate our birthday. On my birthday, akan pakai gaun lawa2 dan potong kek. Minum air oren. Ambik gambar. Waktu petang, time mak ayah balik kerja. Pernah pergi potong kek di rumah tok (birthday abang). Birthday kakak tak ingat sebab kakak selalu akan celebrate dengan kawan2 sekolah.

One day, kereta rosak. Hari hujan. Saya bangun tidur waktu hampir senja, dengar motor di luar rumah. I peeked through the bedroom's window. Mak kelek kotak kek, bonceng motor dengan ayah. And it was raining. I saw it and i remember it.

The cake has a yellow tweety icing on top of it. For my birthday.

Oh Allah, please bless my parents with Jannah. Amiin.

II
Plkn dan birthday.

I celebrated my 18th birthday at the national service program - plkn. I still remember, it was Friday, and for the first time i 'play' with the m16, a real gun. The greatest birthday surprise ever. Alhamdulillah. I fasted on that day, by maghrib pakai baju kurung songket because it was my special day walaupun nobody knew. Buka puasa. Then ada talk kot, bila dah bersurai perhimpunan malam tu, well almost bersurai, penghuluwati kumpulkan semua pelajar perempuan saja. And they wished me a very happy birthday. :)

III
23rd dan birthday

Birthday saya hari ni. Khamis. Alhamdulillah. Puasa ganti. Truthfully, no celebration. Saya celebrate dengan puasa. Lagipun hari ni exam. Everybody tak ada masa. Lagu tu la kot suami isteri bergaduh sebab tak sambut birthday...because it hurts to take birthday as just another ordinary day.

Tapi Allah still bagi saya cake :')
Seorang tetamu datang rumah, dan dia bawa buah tangan, a small packet of donut-size cake. Alhamdulillah.

And cake will always remind me of my parents love and effort for their children.
May Allah bless them. Amiin.

And friends who wished me depan2, privately, directly, they really made my day. Paling awal are my more-than-7-years friends, sis7ers! May Allah bless them too.

IV
Umur 23 dan pertama kali rasa alone lonely begini.

Mungkin saya lupa, berapa juta manusia di dunia ini yang tak pernah lalui kehidupan 'normal' manusia lain? Bukan setakat birthday, hari biasa pun mungkin mereka tidak dihiraukan. Tiada makan. Apatah lagi kek.

Alhamdulillah. Baru saya sedar, bersyukur lah hidup ini masih 'sempurna'. Sempurna dengan cara ini. Mungkin orang lain dipilih untuk berasa 'lonely waktu birthday' dengan keluarga sendiri.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

Saya berdoa moga Allah ikat saya dengan ikatan keluarga dan rakan2 yang penyayang...yang sayang saya dan sanggup make effort for their love. Anything for their family, anything for the love. Tak berkira.

Sebab lama sangat tak celebrate birthday di rumah, mak ayah pernah beli kek untuk sambut birthday bulan islam time saya balik cuti. Allah. How i missed them and my family very much right now!

Hehe tak leh kawen lagi kan kalau mentaliti macam ni? Nak menerima ja...

Erti hidup pada memberi.
Jangan pernah meminta, terutama daripada makhluk.

Tiba-tiba syahdu. What can i give to my parents? How do i make effort to show them my love for them?

T_T

I wish i know how to love and to express my love.

Ikatan keluarga, ialah anugerah terindah pinjaman buat semua manusia. Moga bersambung ke syurga. Amiin.

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