Saturday, November 7, 2015

Where is my confident self...

- bismillah -

Read somewhere in the facebook, Dr Har tegur cakap hanya orang yang yakin dan boleh bawa diri saja boleh tegur (greet) guru-gurunya. 

And after 7 years, how i wish i can perkenal diri dan cakap, sayalah anak murid cikgu dulu! Sekarang saya dah besar *insert a grateful emoticon here* and perkenalkan rest of my friends yang jadi anak murid beliau. 

But it didnt happen. 

And sadly, i have no courage and left the chance went away with the winter wind...

I am not regretting, but i just dont like the fact that i have no firm and strong reason for this decision, of why i choose to stay quiet and left unnoticed. 

And somehow this evening dr maza just delivered a speech, mentioning how we must appreciate our surrounding people and the events that occured, dont just let them past without any significance. 

Or else, we would learn nothing from the repeated cycles of life events and cycles of time. 

Tomorrow is my first Anaesthesiology rotation in my fifth year. I dont want to be an al-an'am! (Haiwan ternak yang ada mata tapi tak melihat, ada telinga tak mendengar.) 
I want to be a somebody or make this rotation is significant for me..not just another-two-week rotation to pass. 


And as i choose the Quran over other commitments apart from medicine, the more other distractions come in my way. 

And as i choose to remain positive with being single, and there come hopes and everything that makes my positivity shaken with doubts. 

Laa hawla wa la quwwata illa billah. 

May Allah always guide my way. 
May Allah always surround me with thiqah people, faqih people, and beautiful at hearts. Amiin. 

P/s i just won a small election in my batch group. Suddenly i know and become more to realise, i am very helpless without Allah. May Allah ease my way to His jannah with His mercy. 

I have too many to ask from Allah, and Allah tak pernah kekurangan despite manusia minta macam2. May Allah ampunkan farhana. 

There is one quote i remembered,
Before u become successful, success is about growing oneself. But when u become successful, success is about growing others. 

That is why, It feels good to become rumput tepi jalan and cheering others haha. Like what i always do..suka tolak orang buat kerja huhuhu. I guess i have to grow my own self become succesful. 

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