Thursday, July 2, 2015

Struggles

- bismillah -

All people have their own struggles.


Kawan2 saya kebanyakannya ialah manusia yang 'sempurna'. 

Saya tahu, saya tak patut pandang rendah pada diri sendiri. 

Tapi hati ni hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu. 

Zaman sekolah, saya mampu be on top of my academic. Co-curricular activities pun alhamdulillah balanced.

Tapi life after school, it is a very hard struggle for me. 

Have u ever met those like these below?
Laundry basket should be empty. 
Cooking is should be satisfying all. 
Baking is fun and easy. 
House chores, mopping, vacuuming etc are well kept. 
Baby sitting friends' baby is the first thing people would rush and race to do.  

One day, all my friends who do well with all the above matters will get married and live happily, despite their lacks in breaking down electrical appliance, no idea at all about fuse and electricity, forgetting to switch off the light every now and then, talking unconfirm ideas confidently. 

Truthfully speaking, i dont know how to buy kasut raya on my own. 

Life is sad when u have weakness in what other call as strength. 

Allah gave me passion in computer stuff and the media, but can that make me happy?

Actually i have this break down when my friend said,
"You have to do that on your own, later on when you are living in your own house, who is going to do that for you??"

She left me being speechless and hating to live for future. 

I do better if i live alone on my own. 
I depend on others if i live with them. 
I depend on my parents to make decisions on my life when i live with them. 
They decide and plan everything. 
So does when it i live with my friends. 
I have never planned when we should go out and buy groceries, when and where is the outing gonna be,
It was just all their decision. 

Whenever i want to buy personal stuff, i will go on my own. Nobody is going to follow me. 

I can do A, but i cant do B. 
And they just dont get it how can it is hard for me to do B...
I would be blamed for not trying. 

Allah gives me strength to walk far and do what i want to do, all alone without help of others. If i want to go to a religious classes, i will have to go alone. 
There were bad people on the streets, but Allah grants me the courage to make me independent of my friends in these areas. 

I have no problem talking and dealing with syabab, if i am alone and on my own. 
But whenever i have my friends around, i would be the one who do the lesser job and talk the least. 

Like i said, i have my strength only if i am living alone by myself. 
I will tag and depend on others if they are around me. 

So, maybe this is an answer why my friends are all engaged and i am still single. Because i live my life the fullest if i am to live independently alone!

T_T

I am sorry for not being positive in this post. 

But i believe, when i am willing to change my attitude and be more mature, 
Everything will turn out just fine. 
People can complaint and look down on me, 
It just that my view is important. I should not look down and downgrade my self. I may have what others dont and they are envying that without me knowing. 

All i have to take care is my faith in Allah, to keep believing in Him, that He bestows me with His blessings, and so does my lackings, so that i dont stop praying for His care upon me. And so that those who are not happy with my weaknesses can just leave and get away from me. 

I have weaknesses, but i also have my Lord, Allah s.w.t who is very close to me, He is the one who give and take, who has the Power on top of all powers, who is the Strongest on top of all types of strengths, and never did He had any weakness despite all types of weaknesses created by Him. 

Allahu akbar. (Allah is the Greatest of all)
Subhan Allah. (Never He has the lacks and never He is the wrong of which they are saying about)
Alhamdulillah. (All praises to Allah)

My Prophet once taught his daughter Fatimah to repeat the zikir, to keep remembering Allah all the times. In was recorded in hadith that at that time, Fatimah was complaining to her father that she was facing hardship with the house chores. 

T.T

Allah is kind. He is the one who calm me and coax me. He wipes His servants' tears each time they turn to Him for consults. 

Allahu akbar. 
Subhana Allah. 
Alhamdulillah. 

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