Skip to main content

Struggles

- bismillah -

All people have their own struggles.


Kawan2 saya kebanyakannya ialah manusia yang 'sempurna'. 

Saya tahu, saya tak patut pandang rendah pada diri sendiri. 

Tapi hati ni hanya Tuhan saja yang tahu. 

Zaman sekolah, saya mampu be on top of my academic. Co-curricular activities pun alhamdulillah balanced.

Tapi life after school, it is a very hard struggle for me. 

Have u ever met those like these below?
Laundry basket should be empty. 
Cooking is should be satisfying all. 
Baking is fun and easy. 
House chores, mopping, vacuuming etc are well kept. 
Baby sitting friends' baby is the first thing people would rush and race to do.  

One day, all my friends who do well with all the above matters will get married and live happily, despite their lacks in breaking down electrical appliance, no idea at all about fuse and electricity, forgetting to switch off the light every now and then, talking unconfirm ideas confidently. 

Truthfully speaking, i dont know how to buy kasut raya on my own. 

Life is sad when u have weakness in what other call as strength. 

Allah gave me passion in computer stuff and the media, but can that make me happy?

Actually i have this break down when my friend said,
"You have to do that on your own, later on when you are living in your own house, who is going to do that for you??"

She left me being speechless and hating to live for future. 

I do better if i live alone on my own. 
I depend on others if i live with them. 
I depend on my parents to make decisions on my life when i live with them. 
They decide and plan everything. 
So does when it i live with my friends. 
I have never planned when we should go out and buy groceries, when and where is the outing gonna be,
It was just all their decision. 

Whenever i want to buy personal stuff, i will go on my own. Nobody is going to follow me. 

I can do A, but i cant do B. 
And they just dont get it how can it is hard for me to do B...
I would be blamed for not trying. 

Allah gives me strength to walk far and do what i want to do, all alone without help of others. If i want to go to a religious classes, i will have to go alone. 
There were bad people on the streets, but Allah grants me the courage to make me independent of my friends in these areas. 

I have no problem talking and dealing with syabab, if i am alone and on my own. 
But whenever i have my friends around, i would be the one who do the lesser job and talk the least. 

Like i said, i have my strength only if i am living alone by myself. 
I will tag and depend on others if they are around me. 

So, maybe this is an answer why my friends are all engaged and i am still single. Because i live my life the fullest if i am to live independently alone!

T_T

I am sorry for not being positive in this post. 

But i believe, when i am willing to change my attitude and be more mature, 
Everything will turn out just fine. 
People can complaint and look down on me, 
It just that my view is important. I should not look down and downgrade my self. I may have what others dont and they are envying that without me knowing. 

All i have to take care is my faith in Allah, to keep believing in Him, that He bestows me with His blessings, and so does my lackings, so that i dont stop praying for His care upon me. And so that those who are not happy with my weaknesses can just leave and get away from me. 

I have weaknesses, but i also have my Lord, Allah s.w.t who is very close to me, He is the one who give and take, who has the Power on top of all powers, who is the Strongest on top of all types of strengths, and never did He had any weakness despite all types of weaknesses created by Him. 

Allahu akbar. (Allah is the Greatest of all)
Subhan Allah. (Never He has the lacks and never He is the wrong of which they are saying about)
Alhamdulillah. (All praises to Allah)

My Prophet once taught his daughter Fatimah to repeat the zikir, to keep remembering Allah all the times. In was recorded in hadith that at that time, Fatimah was complaining to her father that she was facing hardship with the house chores. 

T.T

Allah is kind. He is the one who calm me and coax me. He wipes His servants' tears each time they turn to Him for consults. 

Allahu akbar. 
Subhana Allah. 
Alhamdulillah. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Aidilfitri

- bismillah -Alhamdulillah. Hujan mengiringi permulaan syawal, yg dituntut kita mulakan dengan membesarkan Allah dan mensyukuri nikmatnya, dengan takbir dan tahmid di malam raya.CUTI NAIK TAHUN AKHIRBerpeluang 'berehat' daripada suasana universiti, tidak bermakna perjalanan menuntut ilmu medik perlu berehat juga. Alhamdulillah, sempat menimba pengalaman 3 minggu menjalani praktikal secara elektif di jabatan kecemasan hospital negeri, atas inisiatif sendiri. Tempoh yg singkat itu pasti tidak menjamin 100% penguasaan skil dan asas medikal, namun cukup bermanfaat untuk memperjelas persepsi dan tanggapan terhadap suasana bekerja di bahagian kecemasan, mempersedia mental dan fizikal berdepan situasi mengerikan, malah membina keyakinan untuk 'tidak malu' menuntut ilmu dari semua golongan, doktor, staf dan pesakit.ELEKTIF DI A&E DEPARTMENT3/4 ramadan dilalui dengan refleksi cerita2 kehidupan. Bukan saja berpeluang menyaksikan detik2 kecemasan seperti sesak nafas, sakit da…

Anak yang berbakti

- bismillah -Alhamdulillah. Hari ke-3 tagging dengan doktor SM di internal medicine. Pulmunologist. Hari ni saya semak senarai pesakit doktor, ada nama familiar, rupa2nya ayah doktor.Patutlah, sejak semalam doktor kalut2 lepas habis ward round still talking over the phone pasal sorang pesakit lain, padahal ada 3 orang patients saja under doktor di wad.Ayah doktor dah tua, sakit macam2. History, anak dia yang tulis, ma shaa Allah lengkap berjela panjangnya. PE, lagi2 rectal exam, anak dia yang buat, dan tak bagi kami masuk. Anak dia aturkan susu nak makan pukul berapa, siap tulis satu2 bagi dekat nurse pukul berapa feeding. Ubat dosage, milk feeding, test, semua doktor decide. Doktor specialist bahagian paru2, ayah dia sakit mostly bahagian general medicine, tapi doktor yang in charge. Sekejap2 dengar doktor call blood bank, call consultant hemato utk anemia ayah dia, call another doctor cakap pasal finding rectal exam, call sana sini utk minta pendapat doktor2 pakar lain...He showed s…

Sabar yang indah

- bismillah -Alhamdulillah. Hari ni hari ke-3 tagging dengan dr hemato-oncology. Ada pesakit macam2, kebanyakannya utk chemo. Sedih, kesian, bersyukur semua ada. Hari ni dr specialist takda, jadi round dengan dr resident. Dia tak cakap banyak, tapi bila ada masa seperti masa mennggu doktor lain join, dia akan tanya2 soalan (ini yg kita mahu haha). Dan bila students tanya soalan, dia akan jawab panjanggg bukan sepatah hehe.Mendoakan dia jadi specialist juga nanti in shaa Allah.Ada sorang patient saya, dia kerja setiausaha, suatu hari lenguh2 sakit pinggang, lama2 melarat hingga ke kedua-dua belah kaki. Sakit apabila berjalan. Sampai satu tahap, dia tak boleh gerakkkan kakinya langsung. Tiba2 dia lumpuh! Spinal cord compression. Due to complication of multiple myeloma.Sebenarnya dia ada kanser darah. Tapi tak pernah diketahui. Tahu2 kanser tu dah merebak ke tulang pinggang dan tulang belakang, dan merata lagi (axial skeleton). Banyak investigations dan buat dan dia jalani chemo.Sewaktu …