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Fry day

- bismillah -

Today is a tough day. It's friday, and it is considered weekend here. 

I woke up early to prepare breakfast, and i conduct an usrah with my adik-adik. We read kahfi and sharing some stories about women in islam. I did the laundry later, take a friday sunnah shower, eat my lunch and i went out leaving for Mu'tah (another governate). I had to go to Kak M's house to fetch something first. 

Everything was smooth and perfect.

Well, to continue the story, my plan was cancelled. I was already leaving Kak M's house and waiting to go to the bus station when i was told that i didnt have chance to go to Mutah today. Before that, I went to a restaurant to do some light extrovert-way study, and it happened to be full and crowded with reserved table (of people of course) exactly few minutes AFTER i take a seat and open my lecture note. The waiters were so busy that they dont noticed me so i ordered nothing. I left after a while, feeling thankful that i didnt spend anything there for a free seating. 

I took a taxi home, the taxi smelled orange fresh and air-conditioned. Later it stopped exactly in front of my house. 

Everything was perfect. 

I greeted my adik housemate, saying 'hai, akak tak jadi pergi.' I put away all my bags and stuffs for travel, 
I took my blanket and rolled on the bed and slept until few minutes before maghrib prayer call was heard. 

Everything is just alright. 

I am one who train myself very hard to see good things in all things. I am not mad. But i do feel the tense. I dont sleep at any inappropriate hours like after asar, after subuh, except, except in certain conditions - whether i lack of sleep the night before, sick, or stressed. Yes, i can just shut down like the PC when heated. 

Pesanan untuk diri sendiri,
Kalau kita stress, jiwa kacau, emosi tak stabil, please be professional. Jangan libatkan orang lain. Jangan susahkan orang. Nak buat keputusan, jangan buat waktu stress. Waktu stress, jangan andaikan orang itu begini begini. Waktu stress, jangan rasa nak buat sesuatu keputusan pun! Walaupun niat nak mudahkan orang. You are only making trouble on top of troubles. 

Time stress, kita akan rasa kita dah betul, sangat betul, tapi kita tak sedar it was all such a nuisance.

Cerita atas panjang lagi. Too many things happened today. I received a good news in the morning, but it hurts to know, and i received updates from friends and families in malaysia spending their holidays cum long weekend because of labour day. 

Last sekali, i feel hidung tak mancung pipi tersorong-sorong. I feel i am being needy. 

Baca fatihah. 3 qul. Hembus2. All bad feelings and the depression hilang alhamdulillah. Ruqyah gitu...

I am okay. Everything was right in its place. Penat dengan dunia dan isinya. 

Goodbye for now. 

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