Monday, January 19, 2015

Dilema jodoh?

- bismillah - 

I just want to express what i am concerned with. 

I saw my timeline and news feed on social media platforms, and most of my friends and persons i followed are around my age. We are all approaching adults life. (We've stepped into it in fact). 

And most of them are worrying about marriage!
Me too. But dont make it your main focus and concern! Fight the feeling of being helpless and hopeless to live without a partner. And keep in mind that not everybody is destined to get married...a lot of things can happen in the future. 

Now i understand what my friends feel when their colleagues got partner/bf/husband while they are still single. I agreed thinking of it could be bothering our days and nights, but what i want us to change is, to appreciate our present life. 

At this time of being single, we are not doing nothing but we are developing ourselves as a person, not just students.  
Yes people keep advising to buat persiapan, nanti boleh kahwin, no, change that mindset. You rajin sebab you nak bina diri sebagai manusia, bukan rajin sebab nak jadi suami/isteri. You masak sedap sebab it is for your happiness in the future, bukan sekadar utk dijamah dan dipuji oleh pasangan. 

By this way, diverting our worries into a productive works, with a mind set to developing our selfs as wholesome human beings, is just better and can save our emotions in case if we just dont get married. Well, dont aim too high if you dont want to feel hurt falling. 

What i want to say is, let us aim big. Strive to be the well-rounded human being, not just to be a good wife/husband, then you can be happy whether you are married or not. 

Some people already possessed good characters and qualities, yet, upon thinking about 'not-yet-coming-marriage-proposals', they downgrade themselves. So sad. Just maintain your own self, the person who comes later will just fit you the way you are. 

Antara sisi ekstrim syadid dan longgar, pilihlah yang terbaik. Jangan kerana risaukan jodoh, kau abaikan prinsip. Itu satu kerugian. 
Dari outspoken menjadi diam, kerana risau ditakuti perempuan/lelaki. 
Biarkan, selagi outspoken itu kena pada tempatnya. Bersuara untuk haq. 

Rezeki, ajal, maut dan jodoh tu sudah ada. 
So jangan nak downgrade one self untuk something yang kita harus sabar utk beberapa waktu. 

Just upgrade yourself and go higher. 
Lagi lambat datang jodoh, climb higher! 

So that nanti bila sampai tarikh kematian, you wont regret anything. 
Or so that nanti bila sampai tarikh dilamar, you wont regret anything of your past. 
Marriage and thinking about it hadnt bother you in your life to strive for Jannah. :) but make it as a motivation. 

So dont bother. Keep jaga keberkatan. Tak ada lebih berkat pun keluar date tanpa kepentingan. Tak ada kelebihan pun bercouple ke atas orang single jika follow jalan yang salah. 

Agaknya beginilah, apabila mencapai umur ini. We will start to think, but dont just think the question, but start builiding your answer, "why do i need to get married?"

And jangan be bothered too much. Life is striving to meet Allah in person, sorang2. Kalau dah hebat sekarang, jangan downgrade tapi keep upgrading supaya maintain dan terus hebat di pandagan Allah. Tak ada apa2 rugi. 

Jangan merasa terhina, jangan pula bersedih hati, kerana kamulah orang yang paling tinggi, jika kamu orang yang beriman. 

Jadi jangan longgarkan ikhtilat! Hanya kerana takut dibenci akhowat/syabab hingga tiada yang berkenan. 
Jangan larikan diri daripada majlis ilmu, hanya kerana takut dikatakan dadanya penuh ilmu menjulang ke langit. 
Jangan takut lantang bersuara, hanya kerana takut tidak masuk 'list'. 

Just be our own self. 
Tak ayu pun tak payah paksa ayu. 

Believe me. Been that, done that. Tak best pun pakai topeng. :) i am my old me.
I akan marah bila orang buat salah. I marah bila orang diam bila nampak kesalahan. And i cant tolerate orang yang tak jaga mata. And you can label me with anything. Dush! I care, but i dont want to. 

Farhana type A dah kembali. 

Just be contented with what you have. 
Baca quran banyak2, itulah ubat kepada segala benda yang kelihatan lompong dan tak cukup dalam hidup ini. 

Ayat jgn lemah dan jgn sedih tu from surah ali-imran. 
See? Al-quran is the answer for your heart yang berbolak balik risau kenapa jodoh tak datang lagi. 

Ps. I just bought a roti bun sedap phone cover! Hilang ayu pink pink. Heh. Rebel. Hidup tak payah nak control macho/ayu untuk orang lain. Live our life, for the deen. Not live our life, just to get married and have a career. 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. nice article indeed.

    yeah sometime we forget to look after something much more important while busy worrying about jodoh.

    i'm 28 years old and single lady

  3. Alhamdulillah sis :) may Allah grant u contentment and peace and true happiness in Jannah for ur strong faith in Him :) amiin


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